


Looking for stars

by Aixxx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Amnesia, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood Drinking, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Bullying, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Childhood Trauma, Confusion, Cruelty, Dark Magic, Dementia, Drama, Drama & Romance, Dreams and Nightmares, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kidnapping, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Mystery, Out of Character, Overprotective, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Physical Impairment, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Drama, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, References to Depression, Sickness, Slash, Torture, Ulcers, Verbal Abuse, War, eventual adoption, traumtized characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2018-12-14 22:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 38,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11792667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aixxx/pseuds/Aixxx
Summary: They say sanity is a lot like gravity, that all you need is a little push... Harry entered the tri-wizard tournament not by his free will, but by a mad man who wanted him dead. Harry won the tournament not by his free will, but by a devastating tragedy. Now Harry is back at the Dursleys with nothing to keep company with except for his dead boyfriend. Well,at least the delusion he had created for himself as his boyfriend anyway.The only one able to help? Professor Severus Snape.warning; HP/CD very mild slash, language and violence





	1. Chapter one. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer; i do not own Harry potter in any shapes or forms, all of the credit goes to the fabulous J.K.Rowling.
> 
> this is SLASH , i will never get too graphic and there is no sex, but please read the tags and the title before reading the story, also the first few chapters might be confusing and not in too much detail but i assure you now; ALL OF THE PLOT HOLES AND OBVIOUS LACK OF DETAIL IN CHAPTERS ARE INTENTIONAL AND ON PURPOSE,THIS IS JUST THE WAY I WRITE, THAT IS WHY YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO THE CONTENT AND FIND THE SUBTLE CLUES TO LINK THE EVENTS TOGETHER. WHICH WE READ AS FLASHBACKS LATER IN THE STORY.   
> SO NO FLAMING, THOUGH I WILL GLADLY ANSWER QUESTIONS AND ACCEPT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.
> 
> also, all of the medical and psychological references are accurate and thoroughly researched, i spent a lot of time researching them so go ahead and ask a question if you missed something ;)
> 
> last but not least; please think twice before flaming a work. not just my story but any other stories in general, keep in mind that there is a living human being behind the story you are reading, a human with emotions just like yours, authors put time into their works, no matter how bad or how good the outcome is. hurting someone...a person you don't even know and thus have no reason to hate is not beneficial for both parties involved, the influence your harsh words on a person has might have irrecoverable consequences. thank you ;)
> 
> /italics/  
> *bold*

Chapter one; prologue 

Pain. 

That was all Harry James Potter knew. Pain. Bone crushing pain, the kind of pain that ate away at your body like acid, the kind of pain that laeves you feeling like you never get back up, when your world's come crumbling down all around you and you just stand there, knowing that things will never be the same again. 

Only it was worse. It was worse than any kinds of pain Harry Potter had felt in his short life, including the endless Crucios he had received from Voldemort's wand just minutes ago. 

It was just as endless, but not any less painful. His body was on fire, on fire with rage, and sorrow and pain... But mostly pain. He didn't even try to comprehend what happened around him. With his mind blank unblissfully . The kind of blank when you try and try and oh god, try! To keep the thoughts from invading your mind, only to have them shredding your brain like pieces of glass. 

He just didn't want to think about it. The only thing he wanted to do, was to just lay there, on the ground, his body in a crumbled heap on the top of his dead lover's corpse. With his face firmly attached to his chest, waiting for a heart beat he knew wouldn't come. Nothing else mattered. People could all die at that moment. He could die right there and then and he didn't give a damn.

He didn't care how many times Ron and Hermione called his name in vain, trying to comfort him, or no matter how firm Dumbledore 's hold was on his wrist, trying to detach the boy from the body. He ignored every sob and scream thrown his way. Nothing mattered, because he was in pain. Immense pain. 

He could've screamed. He could've raged and rambled on. Or more importantly, he could've saved Cedric. But he didn't. He didn't and now... here he was. Lying motionless on the top of him, clutching the body like a lifeline and refusing to let go. He did not scream, he did not rage or cry.  
He just laid, his eyes gazing in Cedric's dead grey eyes. If it hadn't been for his uneven breathing, they would've thought him dead too, with one of his arms around Cedric's waist and the other firmly gripping the damned cup. 

He felt a familiar voice soothing his nerves, it might have been Remus's, gently telling him to let go, or it could've been Ron's... Harry couldn't bring himself to care. Not really. His heightened sense picked up distant cries, a feminine cry, not unlike his own mother's. And Harry felt sad for that voice, he really did. He should get up to calm the voice, but really didn't have it in him, so he just lay there, his breath hitching with each passing second as he tried to rid the thoughts away, only to let them come back in, racking him like a typhoon. 

/" such a handsome boy. " Voldemort cooed, titling Cerdic's face with his foot. /

/" Don't touch him! " Harry screeched through his tears, his whole body shaking in binds with each loud sob. /

Harry clamped his eyes shut and scrunched up his nose, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood, and he did... The warm crimson liquid dripped down his chin seconds after.

/" you take the cup. " /

/" No. we take it together Ced... It'd be a Hogwarts victory anyway. " he paused for a second before adding. "I love you. "/

/" I love you too. " Cedric said without hesitation. /

His vision blurred as he opened his eyes again, even more so without his glasses.  
Shaking his head savagely. 

/" want to dance with me? "/

/" in your dreams Diggory. "/

/" you mean this isn't a dream? " /

Is this a dream? Harry wondered. It could be a dream, a really bad one, but still a dream. Then he would wake up. That's what people did after dreaming, waking up. And then everything would be better, the world would be brighter and Cedric would be there to nag at him for hours to wake up. He needed to wake up. Harry deciede, blinking owlishly at the harsh colors gracing the stands, hundreds of students being escorted away, familiar faces swimming in the crowd, faces that did not belong to Cedric. Harry opened his eyes again, willing the dream to end, only to open his eyes and see the same scene again. 

/" don't do it. Don't enter the tournament Ced. "/

/" what is a life without risks? " he gave a cocky grin./

/" a life without you. " Harry snapped./

/" don't be ridiculous Harry. It's just a game. "/

Just a stupid game. A game he lost. Harry was right, wasn't he? He was always right about these things. 

/" you know what else we have in common Potter?" Voldemort cackled madly, his face inches from Harry's. /

/" we're like a poisonous fruit, a forbidden one. We spoil everything we touch. " the voice was still as clear as it was an hour ago. /

Spoil everything we touch. The sentence should've been making sense to him by now, but he was in too much shock that his brain couldn't even process the words, or filter them into meanings. 

And Harry didn't bother to find out, the more he stayed in his fatal position, the more he liked it, he and Cedric hadn't been really open about their relationship before, but now...now that....that Cedric was.....

Harry's eyes snapped open, and he sat up with a gasp, his hand still clutching Cedric's cold body . He threw the cup away carelessly, his body still on Cedric's and his other hand tentively caressing the corpse in a disbelieving state, the cold flesh flexing under his soft touch, the grey stormy eyes still open as Harry's clouded mind began to clear. 

The field fell into a nournful silence. No one dared to move, no one dared to make a sound, no one dared to breath as Harry inspected the body, his hands pausing on the body's chest, it lingered, with Harry's eyes still fixed on Cedric's, the palm shifted, searching for a heart beat... Everyone knew in vain. Everyone knew Cedric was long gone by now, even his parents who were as silent as the others. Just watching Harry with widened shocked eyes. The hand pressed down softly, as if urging the heart to start working. 

Harry's glazed over eyes suddenly widened, his uneven breathing turned into a complete hyperventilation as the hand frantically moved to Cedric's mouth and nose, checking for a breath... The other hand left its post on Cedric's chest and joined the other in Cedric's bronze locks. Harry's loud gasps filled the clearing, everyone was still as silent as a mouse, no one, not even the minister, nor Dumbledore, no one uttered a word as they watched boy calling Cedric's name.

" Cedric? " The whisper broke. Harry shook his head, leaning down. " Cedric, wake up. "he urged, the voice was hoarse from the gut wrenching screams, but strong enough to reach everyone's ears.

" Cedric wakeup! " Harry raised his voice slightly, not taking his eyes off of Diggory's face. Harry snatched his hands away suddenly, recoiling as if burned, holding them in front of his mouth. Covering the agape bloodied lips, And he screamed. At the top of his lungs, he screamed and screamed. Harry scrambled away from the body still screaming as he drawn his knees to his chest. The screams now had a direct purpose. 

" CEDRIC! CEDRIC! CERDIC WAKE UP! PLEASE WAKE UP! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! " the screams never died, turning into loud heart breaking sobs, Harry screamed and sobbed, his eyes were locked into Cedric's unsseing ones as if pleading him to wake up. Harry sat there broken and sobbing, screaming his love to Cedric at the top of his lungs as he apologized over and over. 

Dumbledore made a move to get to him but his friends were faster. Ron raced to his friend, Hermione on his tail as they caught their friend in their arms.  
" RON! RON! TELL HIM TO WAKE UP! PLEASE! IT'S A DREAM! " Potter sobbed in his friend's chest. The scene was so disturbing that even Snape turned his head away, unable to see it without losing his stoic mask. 

" WAKE UP... " Harry's frantical screams trailed down to sobs, as his brain finally caught up with the facts. 

/" kill the spare! "/

/" NOOOOO!" /

Harry was on fire, every bit of his skin, was on fire, his body squashed between Ron and Hemrione's bodies, and his cries dampened, by the sudden chaos, muffled by Ron's and Hemrione's silent soothing. It finally settled in his head. Cedric was dead. Dead as in not coming back. As in not breathing or eating or sleeping. Dead. His lively, beautiful Cedric was dead. Dead and gone and never coming back. Harry cried harder, his sobs once again erupting to screams.

" Out of my way! Out of my way! " the school's matron pushed her way in, with Mcgonagal and surprisingly Snape trailing behind her as the ministry officials and other professors ushered the students back to the castle. 

Madam Pomfrey raced to Harry's side, the boy hidden between his protective friends, hushing the boy quietly. 

" Let him go Mr. Weasley, I take it from here, you too Granger. " the healer said softly. Obediently but still reluctant the teenagers moved away, still holding Potter's hands in their own. Harry wasn't even aware of anything. His eyes were clamped shut and his mouth was frantically moving, mouthing words that no one could hear. 

The boy didn't even seem aware of his surrendering, with his knees still drawn to his chest, his left leg heavily bleeding along with his left forearm, and his whole frame shaking with the after affects of prolonged exposure to Cruciatuse. Poppy was surprised that the boy was even alive. 

He cannot walk, the matron concluded, conjuring a stretcher with her wand, gently lowering the heaving boy on it with a quick levitation charm and then raced towards the castle. 

Hours after that was all chaos and everything in between was a big blur, even for the headmaster. Diggorys finally found some alone closure with their dead son in the headmaster's office. They couldn't move the body in the infirmary with Harry still in it. Severus and Minerva found the imposter posing as Mad eye moody, when Snape found moody drinking polyjuice potion from his cap, he and Minerva handed Barty crouch. J. To the minister himself, while the minister stood there, blubbering like an idiot, finally demanding to know what happened, but after a quick trip down to the infirmary for interrogation,although after seeing Harry's hysterical state, he hastened his way out, mumbling about contacting him at the moment's notice. Hooch and Sinistra ushered the children in their common rooms, positioning the perfects and the head girl to stop anyone from leaving. it was basically a school lockdown.

Pomona left Cedric's parents to grieve and left for her own chaotic common room, leaving Albus with nothing to do but to sit in the infirmary, listening to Harry's anguished screams as the boy raged and sobbed hysterically, even after downing four adult doses vials of calming draught ;five would be over dose. All the windows shattered by his accidental magic twice in a row, while Sirius and Remus tried to hold the boy down enough so Poppy could do her work.

Ron and Hermione were both huddled in a corner crying themselves , forgotten by the adults as all the focus was on Harry. Who was trashing in the bed, covering his ears as he screamed, Sirius who was trying to drag his hands away looked in tears himself. Remus tried to use magic, but all seemed lost, when none of the spells effected the hysterical child. 

Albus felt older than he ever had. Just seeing the broken state his favorite student, the one he looked at as a grandson was in, made him feel like dying himself, and that doubled with his other favorite student's death Cedric Diggory , made the twinkle in his blue eyes disappear, once again proving him how harsh the world can be. 

Albus had no idea what had happened, but he had a few theories, and Barty. J 's confession under the veritaserum filled all the gapes Albus needed to fill.  
Voldemort had returned, the cup was a portkey and Harry was needed for the ritual, the fake Moody had been helping Harry all year, entering him in the tournament, helping him throughout the year so Harry would win, so Harry could take the cup and the plan was complete. Except it wasn't, Harry had won, yes... But Diggory wasn't supposed to take the cup with him, Diggory wasn't supposed to end up dead, but he did, and the events turned out to the dark lord's favor once again. 

Albus knew, Tom knew that Diggory's death will break Harry. Albus himself hadn't known about the couple himself, but judging from Harry's reaction after his death and Ron's and Hermione's confession that they knew all long broke the old man's heart. 

" NOOOO! LET ME GO! CEDRIC! I DIDN'T GET TO WAKE HIM UP! LET ME GO! " Harry's hoarse screams brought Albus out of his silent musings.  
Albus got up from his seat, making his way to Ron's and Hermione's crying figures, who were crying harder as they heard their best friend waste away on a hospital bed. 

He sat next to them on the ground,the couple faced him in a surprised, stunned state. His eyes were grave, and his knees were killing him, but it was all worth it as the two teenagers, huddled closer to the him, silently waiting for the other Weasleys to arrive. 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Everything hurt. The pain had came back full force, except this time it was ten times worse, now that he knew Cedric wouldn't wake up, now that he knew life was meaningless, and now that he knew everything he touched had spoiled, his parents.... Cedric.

Everything was unknown territory, every touch that wasn't Cedric's was burning his skin, every voice that wasn't Ced's was making his ears bleed. And God! Someone was screaming. Harry had no idea who, but it was hurting his ears, he had covered them with his hands, trying to block out the horrible voice, while resisting the stranger's touch as they tried to pry them away. 

Liquid was forced down his throat, and Harry couldn't care less, he couldn't care less if it was Voldemort himself feeding him poison, he would gladly swallow if it was though. He would drink any poison, he would kill himself with any dagger, if it meant being with Cedric again. 

Harry moaned in his mind, someone really needed to stop the damn screams, because it was getting on his nerves, and the killing headache building in the back of his head was not helping at all. 

Another vial of potion was forced down his throat, and Harry found himself retching at the horrible taste. 

/" what? Touchy Potter? "/

/" just because I don't like Snape, doesn't mean I don't enjoy making potions. " Harry had answered back cheekily. /

Harry heaved, feeling as if he was chocking. He couldn't get enough oxygen, couldn't breath the blissful air in his lungs even though his mouth was open wide. 

/" seriously, who's the one you surly miss? "/

/" you are. "/

/" don't be ridiculous Cedric. You saved Cho. "/

/" but I don't like you like a sister, Harry. Just as you don't like me like you, like Ron. Trust me, she's not my type. "/

/" oh yeah? Who is your type Diggory? " /

/" oh you know, the usual, black messy hair, green emerald eyes... Red rubby lips and a cute angelic face...male.... "/

/" flattery will get you no where Diggory. " Cedric cocked his eyebrow. " won't it? " /

Yes it will. Flattery would get you anywhere now Cedric, I don't need anything right now, please come back, please wake up. Harry repeated like a mantra in his head, memories twirling in his head once more. 

Harry cursed whoever was screaming, telling him to shut up, because he was feeling nauseous at the voice. 

/" dance with me? "/

/" in your dreams. "/

/" isn't this a dream? " /

Harry batted the hands away, curled onto the bed's hand rail and threw up, bringing up his hasted dinner, the last dinner he had shared with Cedric in the kitchens. Sheppard's pie. Cedric's and Harry's favorite, with chocolate chip cookies and pumpkin juice for desert . Their perfect little feast, the one they had shared for their one year anniversary. The date he had been killed. 

/" kill the spare. " /

" Poppy do something! " 

" I am contacting St. Mangoes! " 

/" kill the spare. " /

" give him a dreamless sleep potion now! " 

Those words made sense to him, someone was going to make him go to sleep. That could be both good or bad, he could still be a deatheater, or worse, he would wake up at the Dursleys again... On the other hand, maybe when he wakes up he found out that it was all a nasty dream.  
He could just imagine Cedric ( the git ) getting all cheesy, saying something romantic and then kiss him passionately, reassuring him that everything would be alright. Like he had tonight.

/" Cedric? "/

/" hmm?" /

/" I have a bad feeling about tonight. " /

/" just this particular night? "/

/" well, I really don't like nights. " /

/Cedric kissed him on the forehead, titling his head toward the setting sun. /

/" then just look at the stars, look how they shine, just for you. " Harry laughed in mirth as he snuggled deeper into Cedric's arms for the last time. 

Harry opened his eyes, his lashes fluttering against his flushed cheeks. He could see bodies swimming in his vision, someone trying to feed him something. Harry turned his head, finally noticing that the screams has stopped. 

" the stars. " he croaked out. The hand with the vial came into his vision again. Harry shook his head weakly. 

" I,..I.. Have to... See the stars... Please. " he didn't know why, but for some reason it was important that he see them, just in case Cedric didn't make it tonight, just in case something went wrong. Harry thought about Cedric happily. Confused at to where he was, when he was supposed to be in the quidditch field, wasn't the task supposed to be starting now? He thought. 

" Potter, drink it. " he recognized Snape's sneering tone, and the feeling of cold glass vial on his lips. Harry drew his head back.  
" the stars. I have to see them. " his voice was stronger now, this was important, he had to see the stars, although he knew the sun had yet to set, he and Cedric had just gotten out of kitchens. what happened? he couldn't quite remember.

" Oh the poor dear! " he heard a feminine voice say nearby. Mrs. Weasley? What was she doing here? Weren't they all supposed to be in the maze? Suddenly feeling frustrated, Harry sat up, batting Snape's hand away harshly, he noticed vaguely that his legs were bare, his cream white skin gazed back at him through the hospital wing's white gown, hands grabbed at him trying to pull him down, but Harry sighed and ignored them, swinging his legs delicately on the side of the bed, since the left one was hurting for some reason. So he was in the hospital wing, why ?

" Harry lie back down." he heard Hermione say, but he pushed himself up, his eyes finally focusing on the faces around him, he shook his head, grabbing his glasses for the night stand. 

" I'm.... I need to do something. " he didn't feel the need to explain himself farther, as he started to walk to the infirmary's tall elegant windows. He heard everyone trail after him like a herd of sheep, with Ron and Hermione hovering beside him in case he fell. He heard a few indignant cries behind him, But he couldn't care less. He felt alone, and he needed Cedric. Where was Cedric anyway? Harry shrugged, they'd meet in the maze. he had to ifnd the boy beforethen, but still.

" Harry, mate please go back to your bed. " Ron pleaded, catching Harry by the elbow.  
Harry shook him off gently. 

He walked to the window, squinting his eyes to see the sky, the stars, only to see abyss. Only the dark sky without a single star in the sky. 

" damn, where are they? " Harry whispered. 

He turned to a cross looking madam Pomfrey. 

" may I open the windows? " he asked, but didn't wait for an answer as he turned and opened the window, instantly hit by the night's cold breeze. His arms snaked around his waist, rubbing them for warmth as he craned his neck out to see the stars. 

" This is ridiculous! " Snape said, moving to grab Harry by the elbow. Harry wirled around, catching Snape's hand mid way in a death grip. No one protested, all in a stunned state of shock, no one uttered a word as Harry lowered Snape's left arm, his other hand pushing the sleeve up as Snape glared at him. Harry stared at the dark mark blankly. Following the snake's slithering form on the moving tattoo. he finally snapped out of his catatonic state.

" you should get a pain potion for that. " he muttered, letting go of the hand as he turned to watch out of the window again. 

" Mister Potter! Get back in your bed this instant! You are injured! For merlin's sake boy! " Madam Pomfrey bustled, the first one snapping out of the shocked trance, finally ushering Harry bodily to his bed. Harry didn't protest but his eyes lingered on the black sky all the way back to his bed. 

He got under the covers, taking off his glasses and putting them on his pillow. 

" would someone tell Cedric I need to see him tomorrow? " he asked, his eyes drooping as the potion took effect in his system.  
The sleeping boy thought that he heard several sobs erupting the room as he slept. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

" Potter's gone insane. " Snape declared boldly as he gazed at the sleeping teen. Sirius glowered from his seat next to Harry , only being held back by Remus. Arthur and Molly just glared at him tearfully. 

Poppy however, hummed thoughtfully. " not necessarily. It could be the drugs, finally taking effect, seeing as we dosed the child with several calming draughts. And if not that, it could simply be the denial. The first stage of grieving. His mind is protecting itself by not processing details, as if he's walking in a daze. " Poppy said, picking up Potter's glasses and putting them away. 

"Where is Albus ? " Arthur asked suddenly. Looking around the ward.

" Ministry. Trying to explain everything to Fudge. " Bill said weakly, still shaken up to see his brother's best friend act like a lunatic. 

" Where is he staying for the summer? Surely he's not going back to that vile relatives of his? " Molly chewed on her lips, strocking Harry's messy hair, not caring in the slightest that the hair was still caked in dried blood and dirt. 

" I really don't suggest it. Seeing Potter's mental instability. But knowing Albus it's not a far fetched idea. " 

Sirius narrowed his eyes, tightening his hold on Remus's shoulder. He was so angry at Dumbledore that he could barely handle the man's name, if only Harry could stay with him... He thought sadly, the grim felt moony shifting under his hold, apparently having the same train of thoughts. 

Minutes after watching Harry sleep, the group departed, Sirius and Remus, and the Weasley parents to yell at Dumbledore. Bill and Charlie back at their work but promising to return in a few days, the professors went to their respectful houses and Ron and 'mione remaind at Harry's side. No matter what Pomfrey threatened them with, they stayed. finally giving up, the exhausted witch huffed and stalked to her office slamming the door behind her, leaving the other two teenagers to sleep in the uncomfortable side chairs, where they would surely wake up with a cramped back the next day. 

Ron looked over at Hermione, her eyes drooping sleepily as he leaned against him. 

He shook his head sadly, damning Voldemort and his deatheaters for ever existing. Things would never be the same again. He concluded. But he would be there for Harry and 'mione every step of the way. 

And with the final vow the red haired teen fell into a restless sleep.


	2. of one's mind and body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at the Dursleys...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the next chapter. thanks for the kudus! and eager to see more!   
> read and enjoy& and don't forget to review ;)

Chapter two ; of one's mind and body 

 

/Harry's delighted laughs filled the forbidden forest, the sun shining clearly, filtering through the canopy of leaves. Harry felt the wind carrying his body down the path, as he ran. Caressing his face and ruffling his already wild hair. 

The teenage boy heard another chuckle behind him, not so far away and fastened his pace. 

"Come back here Potter!" the voice growled behind him. Harry's heart jolted a few beats at the voice.

"And await my punishment like a good boy? " Harry smirked mockingly, the smirk falling as his feet got caught in a broken branch, sending him flying into a tree trunk. Harry cried out, crashing into the tall pine tree. 

Cedric helped him up, but pressed his back against tree's rough surface. Harry's breath hitched, his cheeks feeling awfully warm all of a sudden. Harry shrank away from the body unconsciously, the body too close for his comfort. 

"You make it sound like, I'm gonna spank you. " Cedric teased, pretending not to notice the act. 

"Do you want to? " Harry asked innocently. 

"Sure I do, but. Your punishment today is.... This. " Cedric dived at him, tickling the boy under him mercilessly. Harry shrieked in laughter, rolling on the ground.

"Stop! " Harry gasped, clutching at his stomach while laughing. 

"Make me! " Cedric growled. Harry smirked through his smile, he surged forward, cupping Cedric's face in his hands, and tip toed on his feet, kissing the boy savagely... /

 

It was a hot day in Surrey privet drive.The sun shone harshly down on the suburb street, chasing people, animals, and children all into the safety of their homes. The residents of number four were all slumbering peacefully on a Saturday morning, enjoying the late hour sleep in. 

Harry shifted on his bed, snuggling closer to the chest he was currently lying on, he hummed as he felt familiar arms tightening around him, scrunching his eyes as the sun shined right at his eyelids. Harry buried his head into the familiar cedar scent, his hold tightening on the soft shirt. 

"Morning. " the chest underneath his head vibrated as he said this. 

"Mor'ing " Harry replied back, his head still on the chest.

"You have to get up now. " the soft melodic voice reminded him gently. Harry shook his head. 

"Don't wanna. " he whined, stretching on the body like a cat. 

The body chuckled, his fingers expertly in Harry's messy hair, massaging the scalp softly. 

"Come on, Harry, before your uncle comes to wake you up. " Cedric's breath warmed Harry's face as the teenager turned his head to look at him. 

"I dreamt about us again." Harry changed the subject, his fingers playing with a loose string on Cedric's shirt. 

"Which one was it this time? " the voice asked softly, like it did every morning. Harry smiled happily at the voice, all too happy to ramble on about his pleasant dream for his boyfriend. Unfortunately Cedric had other ideas. 

"Harry. You really have to get up. It's already seven. " Cedric scolded softly, sitting up himself, dragging Harry's limp body with him. Harry pouted, but got up nonetheless. Cedric helped the younger boy up, helping him to his wardrobe to pick out an outfit for the day. 

Harry took off his night shirt, careful not to look down on his chest while he did this, he really didn't want to see the scars and ruin their happy morning. Cedric handed him his jeans from the bed, well trained on their morning routine. Harry stretched once more, smiling softly as he felt Cedric hug him from behind. 

"You coming down with me? " Harry asked, leaning his head against the firm chest. The question the young teenager asked every single day, every morning after they woke up and dressed. Cedric let him go gently. 

"Will you tell them about me? " Cedric asked sternly. Harry frowned, he knew very well who was Cedric talking about. 

"No. " he said shortly, making his way to the door. Cedric grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it softly. 

"Why? "

"No." 

" why Harry? " Harry looked into Cedric's stormy grey eyes, cringing at the curious gaze in them. 

" because they think you're dead. " Harry whispered. Looking away from the familiar face. He sharply took a breath in as Cedric grabbed his chin, titling it up. 

Harry closed his eyes, he couldn't bear the look in those eyes, he really couldn't take the sadness, the pity and worry all plastered on Cedric's face all at once. 

" Harry... Harry look at me. " Ced pondered gently, grabbing Harry's other hand, gently rubbing his thumb on Harry's palm. Harry shuddered, the action bringing unnecessary memories and emotions surging to him at once. 

Harry shook his head, frantically, breathing in and out frantically to lower his heart beat. He couldn't afford to remember now. Not today anyway. 

Cedric drew the trembling boy in a soft hug. "You need help. " it wasn't a question as much as it was a statement. Harry shook his head. 

"Write them a letter. Tell them to pick you up. That you need help Harry. " the pleading tone was too much for Harry. Harry snarled, pushing the taller boy away harshly. He was seeing red , his hands fisted at his sides and his face flushing with rage. 

" Don't you dare Diggory! Don't you bloody dare! You just say that because you don't want me anymore! Is that it? Do you want to get rid of me? " Harry gritted out, tears of frustration trailing down his pale face, his body trembling slightly. 

"How can I get rid of you, when I don't even exist Harry? Don't be ridiculous! You've got to understand, this is not real. I'm not real, I'm dead Harry... Please, please stop this madness. " 

Harry trembled. He was lying, just lies, he is pushing me away, it is real... Cedric is real, he's here now, he is touching me... That's real, isn't it? Harry repeated in his head like a mantra. 

" Harry? Harry, this is not real. " Cedric said as if reading his mind. "Please believe me, this has been going on for weeks, but you...you can't do it anymore. You cannot pretend, please for my sake, tell Ron, or Hermione, tell someone to pick you up! " Cedric spat, his grey stormy eyes shining in concern, and sadness.

Harry's mind rendered itself blank upon hearing the foreign words. The words were out of routine, this was not what Cedric was supposed to say. Cedric was supposed to sigh and turn away from Harry, dismissing him for the day like he did everyday, then and only then Harry would make it up to him at nights, pleading and apologizing to a point that it was almost pathetic. Instead Harry hung his head and sighed. He then turned to open the door. 

"I'll see you tonight. " he mumbled to the vacant room before trudging down the stairs nonchalantly, his mind blissfully blank and void of all conscious thoughts.   
Harry entered the kitchen, working his way to the fridge slowly, pulling out the ingredients. The repeated motion calmed his nerves, the familiar motion of cracking the eggs, the bacon sizzling and the smell of bread toasting soothed his jumbled but disturbingly clear mind. 

He set three plates on the table, the orange juice pitcher soon joined the mix, with Harry dancing around the kitchen in a graceful fluid and stealth, with the grace of a chef. The fifteen year old boy piled the plates with scrambled eggs and set the plate of bacon in the middle. Snatching a toast for himself before fetching the jam. The teenager devoured the toast quickly, barely finishing the last piece before the Dursleys came in. 

Petunia made her way to the table, making small talks with the half sleep Vernon, and occasionally cooing over her precious Dudders. 

Harry served them all, acting merely out of routine. 

"Good morning. " he greeted politely, as he piled the food on Vernon's plate. The man grunted in response, glaring at Harry murderously. 

Petunia wrinkled her nose, looking as if she was smelling something gruesome, gazing at her nephew with a disgusted expression. Harry looked back, completely unfazed by the glares and sneers. 

The thick paper hit Harry in the chest before Vernon spat at him. "Slack off and you see the consequences. " he threatened with a meaty finger, shoving Harry with his arm as the short boy passed him in his corpse like trance. 

Now, if it had been any other year Harry would whine and complain ( inwardly ) about how unfair it all seemed. But not this year, this year he was really glad about the manual labor he was put under, one would call it slavery and one would call it abuse... But Harry really didn't care at this point. He received his list of chores for the day, went through them in record time each day and was rewarded with a price of bread or fruit if he was lucky enough, or if Vernon wasn't drunk. 

Now that was another matter altogether ; a drunk Vernon meant disasters, some nights when Harry had pissed the man off, merely by existing, he couldn't even move from his fatal position on his bed the next day, those days were the ones when even Cedric couldn't help him. Ironically the nights Harry was beaten were the nights he often found himself alone, where there wasn't any Cedric, and he was hit by the crushing and deafening sense of realization, that Cedric was...

No. Harry snapped at himself, Cedric was upstairs waiting for him, everything was okey, they were alright.... As long as Ced was with him. 

The boy who lived smiled vigorously at the thought of his boyfriend in the house, probably sulking as Harry went through the chores ; mowing the lawn, and repainting the fence he had just painted last week, cleaning out the garage, etc... Things he had to do every other day in a frustratingly repeated list of chores again and again, it made Harry wonder just how long did it take for the Dursleys to realize that they were giving him the same chores everyday, even some of the meals were repeated ; Harry narrowed his eyes in amusement. They had meatloaf today, not the left overs from last night, but the one which was newly written on the list by Vernon, oddly, Petunia ( the smarter one out of the Dursleys) never complained about the food, or the chores, but Harry suspected that it was because she wanted Harry to suffer more, no matter what the circumstance. Meaning that she would eat meatloaf everyday from now on if it meant her nephew wasn't in his room, lounging. 

Or maybe you're the one with problem. Maybe you're the one missing out on days. His brain nagged at him suddenly. Harry blanched. 

It was true, while he couldn't even remember his last week at Hogwarts and his train back to London. He did miss a few days in between. He remembered waking up just last week, slowly making his way downstairs and to the kitchen when the morning paper caught his eyes. 

18 august. He couldn't believe his eyes, he had blinked several times, even asked some of the neighbors who looked at him oddly, just to make sure that he hadn't been missing three days out of his life. Days he did not remember existing. Days after the beatings. Exactly the mornings after Vernon got drunk. Even though his uncle was the drunk one, Harry felt it was him, each morning after the drunk night he woke up to a sore beaten body and a killer headache. Without the memory. No matter how many times he had asked Cedric about them. His boyfriend was disturbingly blank and tight-lipped on the occasions.

Harry sighed, looking down at his mud covered hands. Was it possible? He suddenly thought. What if the Dursleys weren't the stupid ones, what if he was the one who was missing everything? 

What if something was wrong with him? Harry narrowed his eyes. he hated being like a freak again. He pulled out a weed savagely. 

Harry's mind reeled as he went over his primary school days, back to when he had no friends and other kids regarded him as the four eyed freak, their young and immature minds not comprehending that why one little boy, who was their age and was in their class wore big worn out clothes, or why Harry Potter never had any lunch or money, why Harry Potter, a boy their own age looked so depressed? Children who couldn't understand the concept of depression or abuse automatically regarded Harry as the Freak, as someone they didn't want to associate with because he was weird and quiet and sad all the time. Harry remembered those days just like it was yesterday. Some of the kids didn't even need Dudley and his gang to stay away from him. Or the teachers. The boy thought bitterly. 

In the first decade of his life all Harry could remember was pain, and his surname of Freak. The one he got rather popular with at school and in the neighborhood.   
And then Hagrid came. And then Harry's world changed for the better, a change that lasted approximately one day, before he figured why exactly he was so famous and wanted in the wizarding world. Then he was the freak again, he was abnormal and the center of attention. A place he never wanted to be. 

But then after that he met Ron. Harry smiled softly as he dampened his painting brush. He had met his first and true friend. Even in his battered clothes, his over sized trainers and tape covered glasses, even though he had made a fool out of himself just moments ago in front of the boy's family.   
The red haired boy had came in stumbling , face covered in freckles and his actions awkward and clumsy in his own unique way that somehow managed to look graceful. 

And they had talked. Then they were friends. Just like that, in a matter of seconds, so quickly that Harry couldn't even get past his shock of having a friend.   
There was no Dudley there anymore, there weren't any freaky accidents that couldn't be explained, the boy was just like him. Even though he was funnier, taller, cool and a tad bit more comfortable around strangers. 

So Harry let the magic happen, his relationship with Ron deepened so much that they were positively inseparable, even though Ron kinda bullied Hermione for a while, and Harry knew it was wrong, he had said nothing, nothing but glare at the boy softly. Their friendship with Hermione morphed and bonded not long after that. It wasn't as deep as his with Ron's, it was fragile and breakable for a while, but after the first year's events, they became the golden trio. Harry closed his eyes, titling his neck upwards as the summer breeze washed over him. 

And the rest was history.... 

Yes. Harry opened his eyes, Ron and ' Mione always made the freak go away, they were what balanced him. What defined him in some aspects... Only if they were here now. Harry thought sadly, putting the painting equipments in the shed. 

Well, the out door chores were finished, maybe he could catch a moment with Cedric before cleaning Dudley's room. With the thought of seeing his lover, Harry ran to the porch, brightly making his way up the stairs, nearly tripping twice. 

"WATCH THE STEPS BOY! " Petunia's shrill voice cut through the silence, tearing into Harry's ears, but the frantic boy could care less. 

Harry threw the door open, his grin so big that it nearly spilt his face into as he closed the door behind him quietly. 

"Hey love. " he greeted quietly, skipping to his bed, where the still sulking boy was seated. Cedric turned his head away, his scowl creasing his soft creamy forehead. 

Harry frowned. Cedric was usually over their arguments ( if they ever had one. ) by a few hours after they had both cooled off a little. It was one of his Hufflepuffs traits, albeit Cedric accepted Harry's apologize a bit grudgingly, he did forgive him after a while. 

" Ced, I'm sorry for this morning. " Harry said, sitting on his bed near the seventeen year old teenager. 

"Admit it. " Cedric said firmly. Harry's brows frowned in confusion. This was not what Cedric was supposed to say. He shifted nervously. 

"Admit....? " Harry raised a eyebrow, making a move to grab Cedric's hand. Cedric snatched his hand away. 

"That I'm not real. " Harry looked away, grinding his teeth angrily. He closed his eyes again. Way out of routine. 

"Will you stop?! " Harry snapped, his eyes still closed. 

Cedric didn't budge. His skin wrinkled on the forehead with a big frown and his lips curled slightly in a sulky snarl. Cedric refused to touch the seething boy, instead settling his hands on his lap. 

"Admit it. " 

"Shut up. " Harry snarled, turning his head away from the other boy. 

Cedric blistered, practically spitting with rage, his grey colored eyes bulging and his fists curls in anger. The sight was one Harry hadn't seen a in a long time, almost ten months ago when Harry's name came out of the cup. 

" ADMIT IT HARRY! " Harry blanched. Flinching as if burned, he then stood up, refusing to talk with his boyfriend when he was in one of his moods, stomping his way out of the room quickly, feeling hurt and confused all the way out. He couldn't believe how selfish Cedric was being! Harry slammed the door behind him.

How selfish and unreasonable and.... And just....ridiculous! Admit it, huh! Harry mocked in his mind. Admit that my boyfriend is a git, more like it. He thought.  
He breathed out frustratingly, leaning back on the door, listening to the hufflepuff shuffling in his room quietly. Harry snarled. 

He honestly didn't know what was wrong with Cedric these days, everything seemed normal enough, and they had the routine. Everything was fine as long as everything went right with routine, and even though his friends had stopped sending letters, Cedric has always been there for him. But then he just had to get this ' not real ' nonsense in his head and rambling to Harry about it all day. About how he was no there any longer, and he needed Harry to understand. Well, Harry didn't need to understand, Cedric was the one who broke their peaceful routine, not him. 

What was he going to admit to anyway? Harry thought, dusting Dudley's window pane with a worn rag. 

That I'm not real. 

What a load of rubbish! He thought angrily. His fingers clenching around the rag. If only he could talk to Sirius or Remus about this.... 

Harry cleaned his cousin's room in record time, dusting the room and taking out the trash out of his room stealthy, while trying his hardest not to think about anything in particular as he made his way down stairs to make dinner. 

It didn't matter anyway. Harry thought to himself, chopping the onions, just Cedric being unreasonable and ridiculous. The raven haired teen assured himself, he would get over it eventually. 

He nodded, yeah, it was just a one time thing. Nothing to worry about. Harry sighed. Then why was he feeling like this? So unsure? Harry shook his head. No. He thought. Don't think about it, and it'll be alright.

Everything will be. Harry smiled, slumping down in relief. And with that Harry James Potter unconsciously deleted everything , every useless detail that stressed him, that made him sad or anxious, unnecessarily pressurring him, including his conversation with Cedric was all wiped away. The day successfully erased out of his mind. 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

"Think about it! It totally makes sense!" the frustrated red haired repeated that sentence for the forth time that day. 

"No, Ronald, I will not think about it, because I don't care!" Hermione finally snapped back, her eyes just itching to roll themselves at her friend's behavior. 

"How could you not?! It's Quidditch!" Ron gasped incredulously, even though he knew how much Hermione hated the sport.

"Because..." the bushy haired teen huffed. 

"I don't see the logic in it! I mean what's the purpose of a Quaffle if the seeker can just get the snitch and end the game right in the beginning? " she shook her head.

Finally giving up on her book she sighed. Even though they were now residing in Grimmauld place ( Sirius's home) and the house stank of dark magic, the library made her feel like she was in heaven. She couldn't get her mouth off the floor for almost two hours before Sirius gently snapped the teen out of the shock by promising that she could borrow the books anytime she wanted to. She knew it was early, but her life was complete right at that moment, and that was before Sirius promised them to teach the trio how to become an animaguse. 

"You just don't get it do you? Hermione.... Sports doesn't work with logic! They're like...they're like the combination of asphodel and chopped ginger root!" he finished smugly, proud of his study free knowledge. 

"They're not poisonous Ronald. Actually they're the root combination in draught of the living death." She said dryly, resting her chin on her palm. 

Ron shook his head, giving up on the game completely. "Girls. " he muttered, rolling his light blue eyes. He sighed, fidgeting in his seat slightly.

"Do you want to play chess? " Ron broke the silence after a few minutes. Hermione hung her head sadly. She really didn't want to play anything with anyone right now, she couldn't even concentrate on her book... but she also knew that if she wouldn't get along with Ron, then they were going to argue, and if they argued, Harry wasn't there to break it off and no one else knew how, and they would be miserable till the end of summer, or until Harry got here. So withholding her sigh, Hermione nodded, waiting for Ron to get his set. 

Ron didn't move though, instead he looked back at her with thoughtful eyes. 

"You miss him." 

"I do. " she replied back honestly. Tapping her fingers on the table nonchalantly.

"I miss him too. I really wish we could at least send him a letter. " he bit his lip, feeling annoyed at Hermione's tapping. 

"You know why we can't, the letters could be intercepted. " she said patiently, sighing. Ronald glared at her. 

"You know what I meant 'mione. Dumbledore made a mistake, Harry wasn't supposed to go back to the Dursleys, you know the reason as well as I do. " the rage was not hidden in his tone as he practically spat Dursleys names. 

"What do you want me to do? " she asked, she knew all of these things already, she knew everything, and she knew how wrong it was to cut Harry off the wizarding world right after Cedric died. But it wasn't like they could do anything about it. The order was direct and clear ' no letters were to be send to Harry until the end of summer, or until he got here ' Dumbledore even made them swore on their Gryffindor honor, gravely ordering them to not contact Harry at all costs. 

"We need a plan. " Ron smirked. "We're gonna send a letter. "

"We swore Ron, we cannot just break the rules like that." Hermione nagged half heartedly, already know what she was about to get in to. Ron narrowed his eyes again, raising his eyebrows as if saying ' Seriously? ' 

Hermione resisted, her conscious getting better of her, bitting her lip she shook her head slightly. Ron arched the eyebrow higher. 

Hermione let a long deep sigh. "Sunday night. " she muttered, already regretting her decision. Knowing very well that even if Dumbledore didn't kill them himself, Sirius and Remus were going to wring their necks with bare hands, she had seen first hand, how protective those two were of their godson. 

"It's still wrong. We're breaking the rules. " she attempted again half-heartedly. Her eyes pleading as she gazed into Ron's. 

"We're the golden trio Mione. Rules are made to be broken for us. " he grinned, snatching her hand and dragging her up the stairs excitedly.   
Neither aware of the silhouette leaning against the door, draining every word that the teens have uttered. 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

 

Severus Shape was practically seething, how dare they?! Those little brats! He stomped his way up the spiral stairway , leading to Albus's office. 

'Rules are made to be broken by us ' Severus sneered, just like the spawn of James Potter. Arrogant and selfish and unreasonable and spoilt rotten.... 

How could they just bend the headmaster's order like that when he made them actually swear? 

Those idiotic Gryffindors, no wonder they got so injured all the time , what with their mindless wandering, thinking themselves above the rules...   
Severus's sneer deepened as he stood behind the office's old mahogany door.

"Come in. " invited the jovial voice. Severus closed his eyes, already imagining himself in his Manor, relaxing in his library with a potion magazine and a cup of black coffee. Or brewing potions all day without ever having to worry about idiotic dunderheads blowing the dungeons up. All he had to do was to make his report and then floo home. Piece of cake. 

"Uh....Severus! What a wonderful surprise! Come in! " Albus gestured at w seat with his wrinkled hand, clear blue eyes twinkling madly behind those half moon glasses. 

"Hardly. " the potion master drawled dryly, lowering himself in the seat. 

"Lemon drop? " the old man offered. Severus resisted the urge to sneer at him. 

"I decline Albus. " 

Albus chuckled merrily sucking on his lemon drop. "Someday my,boy. Someday you won't. " 

Severus rolled his eyes. " Albus, I'm not here for a tea party, I have something to report. " the potion master barked. The sooner he told Dumbledore the sooner he could go home. 

"By all means Severus. " the old man sat down, stroking his beard thoughtfully.

"Those brat at the headquarters. Gringer and Weasley, Albus, they plan on sneaking out a letter to Potter. " He snarled, barely containing his rage at those spoilt brats. 

"Indeed? "

Severus rolled his eyes. "Yes Albus. Indeed. I still cannot believe you trusted a bunch of geyffindor brats with the kind of information. Just like Potter and Black, those three are always disrespecting the rules, always wandering the hallways at midnight, I heard that the Gringer girl sneaked into the boy's dormitory twice just before the end of term, merlin knows doing what! And..." Albus held up a hand to cut him off, with amusement shining in his eyes. 

"Now there Severus, I'm still back at Ron and Hermione sneaking out a letter to Harry. " he reminded kindly, not fazed at Snape's famous glare. Severus's sneer depend once again. 

"Those brat want to send Potter a letter from the headquarters. Where the letter could be intercepted and...both locations might be compromised. " he spat out bitterly, dark eyes darkening with each passing second. The scene reminded him way too much of James Potter for his liking. He remembered the man sneaking out letters to his wife, breaching their locations and spoiling the missions several times, every time with the same ridiculous excuse. 

' she's pregnant. ' Severus narrowed his eyes. 

"Hm....I see. Did you hear why? " Albus pondered gently, pulling the potion master out of his morbid thoughts.

Severus snorted. "Why else Albus? They miss the little wrench. The golden boy of their golden trio. " his tone basically dripped with sarcasm and none concealed hate. 

Albus sighed heavily, his eyes twinkling just as madly. "How many time do I have to tell you Severus? Harry is not James. Despite the corporal looks, Harry is so much like Lily that you'd be amazed. He's kind, compassionate, and empathic. I still don't understand why don't you just give him a chance. " 

"Albus cut out the dramatic show. Like Lily or not, the boy's nothing but a menace, just like his father. Spoiled rotten by his poor muggle relatives. " the man replied casually. 

"Severus...you might be surprised, think of it as an old man's mistake but I do not think Harry is as spoiled as you think. " the twinkle disappeared from his eyes.

Snape rolled his eyes once again. "What? Is the boy who lived complaining again? What is it this time Albus? A house elf dropping a pudding on his guests? Or perhaps he blew his poor aunt up again? " Snape could just pity the muggle family Potter lived with, with dark satisfaction. An emotion he did not feel often. 

"Actually, it's not Harry who's complaining. As you know kettleburn was on guard duty in privet drive. And the report he has sent....is quite disconcerting. " Albus reached for his drawer, pulling out an opened envelope. Severus grabbed the letter with disdain, his eyes scanning the content carefully. 

He snorted disbelievingly at the end. " Really Albus? You believe the boy? " he asked in astonished disbelief. 

Albus shook his head, taking the letter back. "Harry has no idea, that he's being watched Severus. The boy is truly distraught. " 

"Distraught? From what I've just read the boy is doing well enough, a few days of manual labors isn't go to kill him. "

"A little too well, don't you think? I am sure you saw how distraught Harry was after Diggory's death. From what kettleburn tells me, he's not even grieving. And it's not just a few days Severus, you saw the boy during your shift didn't you? " Albus said pensively. 

Snape turned his head away. Scenes of Potter trashing and crying hysterically assaulted his mind. 

As much as he hated to admit it, Albus was right. The boy shouldn't be so....ok, after his loss, even if Severus hadn't seen the boy's crazed state the night of the task, he still wouldn't have believed that Potter is doing that well. 

"He's just trying to get attention Albus, probably trying to corrupt his relatives mind to spoil him again. " he knew he didn't believe the last comment as he distractingly tapped his chin. 

That scene in the hospital wing, where Potter totally lost it, drugged or crazed from grief. Snape's mind steeled as he thought about it. The little brat revealing his mark, saying that he needed a pain potion so casually, like he was talking about the weather. Even Severus thought the boy needed to be at St. Mango 's, not at his relatives. 

"Just how well is he doing? " he asked curiously. 

Albus shook his head. "Unbelievably good. Kettleburn says, aside from the chores, the boy acts if he's in heaven, and he... He also discovered some disturbing information, I'm afraid. "

Severus instantly felt a sense of foreboding. "What information? " he said slowly as he tried to read Albus's stiff posture. 

Albus looked up, gravely, looking as old as he actually was. " when kettleburn settled on a tree, right next to Harry's window. He...he heard talking. As he inspected closer , he found that Harry was...he was talking to an empty room. Talking to himself. " 

The potion master felt his mouth drop open in astonishment. Not even bother to cover up his shock he said. "What? What did Kettleburn hear exactly?" Severus knew that couldn't be all, he knew that Albus was keeping the worse from Him.

Albus shifted in his seat, wrinkled hands resting on his beard. The headmaster sighed.

"He heard Harry conversing with someone. " 

Severus felt relief flooding in his system. "Albus, it could've been a phone. " he said. 

Albus shook his head. "That's just it my boy. We believe... That Harry was talking... To Cedric. " 

Severus felt his heart drop. He was right after all. Potter's gone insane.


	3. Chapter three; Horrible realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bits and pieces come to Harry, Ron and Mione try to smuggle a letter in a sneaky way (unsuccesfully) and...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another confusing chapter, i'm sorry that i'm not sorry! but on the lighter note this chapter is full of subtle clues that might come handy later on, so read like your life depends on it! 
> 
> /italics,flashback/  
> *bold*
> 
> read and enjoy, don't forget to review and tell me what you think, i don't like repeating myself but i feel like i should say it before you read this chapter, the supposed plot holes and blahblahblah are on purpose, so be patient and stay tuned for more!

Chapter three ; 

Harry Potter tossed and turned in his battered cold bed restlessly, unable to close his eyes or sleep, even though he was exhausted. 

He found himself immediately angry for feeling hurt and offended when Cedric refused to sleep with him tonight. And he found the bed oddly empty and vacant 

without the Hufflepuff warming it up for him, or not resting his head on the warm solid chest. 

It wasn't as if it was his fault, quite the opposite, he was the victim here, he was the one who got burned and insulted and totally hurt by Cedric's confusing rambling 

today. 

And found himself confused once again as he tried to fill in the blank holes in his memories, he did remember them well enough, but... It seemed like something 

was missing. Why did Cedric fight with him in the first place? Was it something he said, or did that set the boy off? 

Harry honestly didn't know and could not for the life of him remember... Diggory just stood and left the room as soon as Harry entered, not uttering a,single word 

as he went . And Harry only kissed the boy on the cheek like he did everyday, What was wrong with that? 

Harry wanted to go after the fuming boy, but was ordered against it by uncle Vernon, who would beat the crap out of him if he found Harry out of bed at 1 am, 

wandering the hallways and pleading his boyfriend to come back to the room. 

He absolutely had no intentions of letting Vernon or any of the remaining Dursleys seeing Cedric, aunt Petunia will have kittens if she found out there was another 

boy living with Harry. 

Another thing that intrigued and confused Harry even more was the fact that Cedric never ate anything, or the Dursleys never even looked suspicious, never did 

Petunia asked him if he was smuggling anything upstairs in his room ( Harry had coexisted in his cupboard with a injured mouse for days)  
Sure Cedric did exit the room to use the bathroom, but he never ate any of the food Harry sneaked the boy the first few days. Saying that he didn't need it, and 

Harry shouldn't trouble himself for scrapes when it wasn't even needed. 

At some point Harry asked if Cedric was a vampire who lived off by Hedwig's mice, but the Hufflepuff remained silent. And so Harry never questioned the boy 

again, he knew better than to pressure him, by asking unnecessary questions. Cedric was here and that was all that mattered, who cared about what he ate or if he 

peed? 

Well Harry certainly didn't, at least pretended not to, because he had no actual proof. Cedric could've showered literally all day and no one would've known ; with 

Harry too busy with chores, Vernon at work and Dudley out bullying defenseless children, the house was mostly empty, as aunt Petunia left for groceries and tea 

with the lady next door almost everyday. 

Harry shook his head, drawing up his knees farther in his chest, he huffed. 

If Cedric was going to give him the cold shoulder, then Harry certainly would not beg or plead the boy anymore. He had no reason to, when he had no idea what he 

had done wrong in the first place, why should he apologize for what he hadn't done? 

He sighed irritably, exasperated at his own thoughts... He couldn't even think straight, his mind was like a fog filled field, everything was so hazy and unreal and 

just so...out of place. His thoughts had no rational pattern these days as he purely relied on his instincts.   
Finally tired of fidgeting in bed, Harry dragged his body up, and fumbled to grab his glasses, he knew he wasn't going to get any sleep tonight, so he simply didn't 

bother anymore. 

He walked to the half open window, gazing at the half lighted lamps and the stars illuminating the street, no cars passed the deserted street with all of them parked 

in their garage or by the sidewalk safely. Harry gazed up at the stars, longing and homesickness pressing down on his chest for some reason. He frowned, the feeling 

was foreign, and quite out of place.

Did he miss Sirius? Was that the reason why he felt those feelings? Harry had no idea, and for some reason had no enthusiasm on testing out the theory. Maybe I 

could send out a letter.

He turned his back to the window and fell on his bed ungracefully, his mind a jumbled of broken and unfinished thoughts. 

The raven haired boy closed his eyes again, trying to clear out his thoughts by thinking about Cedric. He smiled softly, yes... Cedric.   
Just think about him and everything will be alright. He would come in and apologize and everything will be alright. It didn't matter if no one was sending him 

letters or that he was at the Dursleys. Cedric was here, and that was all that mattered. Cedric was at the Dursleys, living with Harry in his room, and not leaving him 

ever again...

What was Cedric doing here with the Dursleys anyway? 

Harry surged forward, startled at his own sudden thought. He tried to banish the thought away, only focused that his boyfriend was just there, but logic won over in 

a matter of seconds. 

Why was he here? How was he here? When did he came? Thoughts swirled around in his mind as Harry sank down on his bed, feeling the horrible sense of 

realization settled in his head.

He might have been forgetting some things lately, but he remembered quite vividly that he had never mentioned the Durselys to Cedric. Not at all. He didn't even 

tell their names or their relations. Just reassuring the older teen that they were relatives. Magicphobic, and probably Cedricphobic too, since Harry hadn't dreamt of 

telling the Durselys that he had a boyfriend. 

And then he remembered Cedric saying that it didn't matter anyway, and he could meet them when Harry was ready to talk about it. Had he talked about it? Harry 

didn't think so. 

Now that's a bit unfair. A little voice whispered in the back of his head. Cedric could've easily asked Ron or Hermione, or even Neville about Harry's home 

situation. Although Cedric was not a nosy person, he wouldn't have intruded, especially after Harry had told him that he didn't want to talk about it.   
Well, apparently he had, seeing as Cedric was residing with him, in the house, in his room for.... For how long? Harry tapped his chin, his guts filled with a 

foreboding sense of dread.

How long had Cedric been with him? Did he came to the privet drive with Harry straight from Hogwart's express? Did the boy showed up a few days after that? 

Harry cursed, feeling dizzy and light headed at the thoughts. 

It doesn't matter! He shouted inwardly. Who gave a owl's shit if Cedric knew about the Durselys?he berated himself viciously. Or how did he end up here? Or when 

did he come? Who cared? Harry closed his eyes, shaking his head violently. Cedric was there, and that was all that mattered, wasn't it?   
You deserve it. The voice said again. Merlin knows after what happened last year at the task....

The raven haired boy's eyes snapped open once again. His mind reeling as he tried to recall any shreds of memory, only for his mind to come out blank. This is not 

right. He thought, he was not a forgetful or a careless person. He was never this forgetful, he had never blanked out before, never like this! What had happened last 

year? The task? Harry remembered bits and pieces, he remembered the Quidditch world Cup quite clearly, though no one could forget that horrible night, well not 

so horrible for him since earlier that night was the night he and Cedric finally got together... Harry shook his head again. Focus. He snapped at himself... He also 

remembered the feast, he remembered Ron gushing about Krum all week, before he actually got to see the boy... 

What happened next? Harry's mind brightened with an idea as he jolted from his bed and walked up to his battered desk. He pulled out the drawers, rampaging 

through to find a barely used notebook that belonged to Dudley, his fingers closed around the pen's solid and smooth surface before pulling that out of the drawer 

too.

Flipping the notebook open Harry opened a random page, already chewing on his pen nervously.   
He was agonizingly aware of the sound of his pen scrapping against paper as he slowly wrote

' what I remember ' 

He underlined the text, tapping his pen to write the list. What did he remember exactly? Alright Harry, he breathed out. Start slow, just baby steps okay? He nodded.   
Now something small to begin with, what was small and trivial enough? Maybe the world cups. Yeah, he nodded determinedly. He remembered that night in details, 

so that should work. He set to writing immediately. 

 

/He remembered the night as he and Ron climbed the stairs with a brisk yet excited pace, trying to contain their over flowing joy, both wearing red and black 

stripped hats, with their hands saddled with treats. Harry remembered Hermione and Ginny behind them by a few steps, the wind, blowing their hair and their 

cheeks slightly tinged with red as they giggled madly. Well, Ginny was the one giggling, Hermione considered the act as of a crime. Saying that it was not designed 

for a lady. Harry and Ron rolled their eyes. Just trust Hermione to say something like that in a world Cup Quidditch match, when the last thing on everyone's mind 

was the voice of giggling. 

Their happiness however was short lived as they countered with the Malfoy family, the only word Harry could describe them as was aristocratic, stiff and total jerks, 

showing off their seats on the minister's side while Harry knew Ron's dad had to take extra shifts to get Harry and Hermione the extra tickets. 

Cedric Diggory was also there standing near his own father, but did not get involved as Ron and Draco exchanged insults, he merely looked at Malfoy blankly 

before taking Harry's arm, who had grabbed Ron's shoulder for moral support some time during the argument, and dragged both boys up the last set of stairs. " 

they're not worth it. " was the only thing he said as he settled down next to the trio out of an act of kindness. 

Harry could be over the moons at that moment, at the same time he was also desperately hoping that the ground would open up and swallow him whole. Since his 

awful crush on the hufflepuff boy last year after the Quidditch match, he knew he wouldn't be able to seat next to the older boy without blushing down to his roots, 

and honestly Ron's teasing jibs in the ribs did not help him. At all. 

Merely looking for a distraction, Harry found winky the house elf shaking and trembling in her seat, her eyes closed and her huge ears wrapped tightly around her 

head in fear. Harry looked around, the match hasn't started yet so he stood. Not noticing Diggory's intense gaze at his back as he went to winky the house elf. Harry 

kneeled down, and tapped the poor creature on the shoulder gently. 

' you okay? ' he had asked, his eyes gazed into winky's huge brown eyes, still shaking like a leaf.

' sirs? Is you with winky sirs? I's did something wrong?' her high pitched voice rang uncomfortably in his ears. He shook his head quickly. 

' no! No, I was just asking... You seem... Um... Stressed? ' winky shook her head, looking as if she was trying so hard to keep her eyes open. 

' I is fine sir. I just obeying an order sirs. ' she squeaked, her bat like ears covering up once again. 

Harry looked around helplessly. 

' what did your master want you to do? ' he had asked, consciously aware of the match starting in a few minutes.

' master crouch wantes winky to keep his seats fors him sirs. Winky is a good elf, winky keep master's seats for him, winky is a good elf sirs. ' Harry felt his heart 

break for the poor thing, she was clearly scared of heights. Who was cruel enough to order a house left to do such a thing? He grabbed winky's wobbly shoulders, 

squeezing them reassuringly. 

Winky sadly did not appreciate the gesture and flinched violently. Harry narrowed his eyes. But freed his hold on the shaking thing nonetheless. 

' do you want me to stay with you? The heights aren't that bad, and I don't think the stands are going to fall or crumble anytime soon. ' actually he wasn't sure of the 

last fact. The stands were kind of unstable and creaky, but surely the joints were fastened and secured by magic? 

Winky shook her head frantically. Her fingers tightening around the seat's edge, as her frame shook harder.

' don't worry! It's no trouble... Um...winky? I... No... Harry will be delighted to sit with you, and maybe I can even have a quick word with your master. ' Harry could 

exactly imagine the talk, and frankly he knew even Ron would he proud at his choice of words. With narrowed eyes Harry took the seat near winky, only then 

noticing Cedric Diggory staring at him with wide and surprised eyes. Harry looked away, the blush forming on his cheeks increasing progressively on his face.   
Winky latched herself to his arm, her huge ears now covering her eyes as she trembled. 

' oh Harry sirs! You is so generous and kind! Winky are less afraid now! ' Harry smiled, petting the elf softly. Ron caught his eyes questioningly, shaking his head in a 

manner that clearly said " what the hell mate?! " 

Cedric noticing the look, turned his face to the other two, silently explaining. Hermione immediately smiled and stood, dragging Ron with her as they ran to Harry 

and the poor elf, only barely catching the last empty seats near him as the crowd cheered and Bulgaria flew in the field.

Harry bit his lip, trying to stifle his dampening disappointment. Wishing guiltily that he could still sit with Cedric. Ron tapped him on the shoulder before shooting 

up and hollering for Krum. Hermione rolled her eyes. 

' that was a very kind thing you did there Harry. " she shouted above the cheers, instantly making Harry feel better, Hermione's and Ron's approval certainly meant 

more to him than getting to sit next to Diggory, who wouldn't even look at Harry twice. As Harry was sure the boy was as straight as an arrow. Well so was Harry 

actually, in truth, he had no idea why he had felt so attracted to the older boy when he knew he wasn't even gay. Upon discussing the matter with Ron a few weeks 

ago the red haired boy jokingly suggested if Harry was ' Cedricsexual '. Now Harry found himself actually considering that aspect. 

The boy had turned his head away, enjoying the show with his friends cheering with an elf attached to his arm, waiting for a master who never came to claim his 

seat. Harry was intrigued by Krum's feint wronski, silently musing if he should try it out this year. 

' don't even think about it. ' Hermione said, without even looking at him. His mood lifted considerably as Krum got the snitch and the veelas were set loose on the 

field once again. He watched with amused glinting in his eyes as Hermione tried to hold a drooling Ron back from jumping down in the crowd, Harry himself 

would've been joining him if it wasn't for winky, attached to his arm so hard that Harry feared his arm might even break under the weight.

Cedric stood and joined the trio as they climbed down the metal stairs, bidding Winky goodbye on their way down who bowed and tried to kiss Harry's hands from 

being so gracious and kind. Harry shrugged it off, blushing as he secretly basked in the attention he was getting from the hufflepuff boy trying to detach the elf from 

him.

' it really was a gracious thing you did there Potter. ' he said causally on his way down, staring at Harry thoughtfully.

Harry stood, inwardly gapping at the praise, being abused himself for years, he didn't get his much deserved Praise or at least a compliment once in a while for his 

achievements growing up. And Cedric's compliment, made butterflies throwing an angry typhoon in His stomach. 

' thanks. ' he blurted out, quite proud that be did not stutter, or didn't say it sounding like an idiot.

Diggory shrugged. ' just telling the truth. ' his tone somewhat cold and indifferent. 

Harry started stomping his way down the creaky stairs, clutching the thin metal rail. He didn't know if he should whether feel relieved or kind of offended. Cedric's 

tone made it seem like he wasn't complimenting at all, it made it seem like Harry was merely showing off, and it made Harry feel ashamed and really embarrassed 

for taking the wrong impression. It shouldn't be a big deal, he knew that, just a misunderstanding. A worthless one at that. Harry thought fiercely. 

' you think so? ' he gritted out angrily. Looking at Ron and Hermione walking with the other Weasleys, bickering over whether Hermione should help them with 

homework or not. 

' why are you angry? ' Cedric asked, his stormy gray eyes looked genuinely confused. 

' I'm not angry. ' Harry snapped, fastening his pace to reach his friends , angry at himself for misunderstanding the other boy again. 

' you obviously are, was it something I said? ' Cedric halted a few stairs to catch up, his voice a little breathless. 

' I said I'm not angry! ' Harry huffed indignantly, he didn't even know why he was angry anymore, if it had been in another situation Harry would've laughed his ass 

off at the image he and Cedric were making right now. But he still had some dignity down there, so he just fastened his pace, trying to keep his face blank. Trying 

being the key word. 

' okay.... Was it something I did? ' Harry turned around stealthy, his face inches from Cedric who had stopped by on the lower step. Harry pointed a finger at the 

boy's solid chest, the thick Cedar aroma hitting him in the face as the wind blew. 

' I did not help that poor creature to get your attention. Or anyone's. ' he spat out, ignoring the angry yelling behind them as they were blocking the path. 

' I know that. ' Cedric replied with a raised eyebrow, throwing them up in a manner that made it seem like it was all so obvious and Harry was the stupid one from 

not getting the joke. 

' do you? I never do anything for anyone's attention! Least of all you! ' Harry had no idea what the hell he was talking about, he just felt the need to keep poking 

Cedric's solid and muscular chest.. And since his emotions were over flowing already, Harry led the only way out ; his mouth. 

' what? What are you talking about Potter? ' he asked, shaking his head as if he had seen Harry for the first time. People behind them had quite yelling and were 

swarming past them, giving Harry the impression that they were lost in a sea of people. 

' I don't know! ' he finally huffed, the finger still on Cedric's chest. Harry shook his head proudly. ' I just felt the need to explain myself! ' 

Cedric curled his lips, heaving from a few seconds before bursting into fits of laughter, his hands clutching at his stomach as he laughed madly, barely maintaining 

his balance on the narrow steps. 

' are you mocking me? ' Harry asked again, this time really angry, he opened his mouth to retort as he finally pushed his finger down Cedric's chest. Hard. 

Cedric cried out in fright, arms flailing as he tried to keep his balance before cascading down the metal stairway, taking out other people like a domino master piece, 

while Harry stood there gapping like a fish, his finger still hovering where Cedric's chest once was. 

The fallen crowd landed on the ground in a large heap of people's arms and legs sticking out, some crying out underneath, telling the uppers to get up or to get their 

hands of another's ears. People around just looked, not knowing if they should laugh or they should help the ones heaped on the ground. Obviously, they did what 

every other rational and sophisticated community would do in this situation ; they laughed. 

Harry finally snapped out of his frozen state, as he ran down the stairs, his guts curling in embarrassment and shame, he really hoped that the hufflepuff was okay 

down there, merlin knew Mrs. Weasley would kill him if she found out. Harry bitted his bottom lip, finally reaching the ground. He looked around, having no idea 

that where the other Weasleys went. He ran to the heap, crouching down as he rampages through the heaps of lanky arms and legs. 

' Cedric? ' he called, pushing people off, or occasionally helping them up to find the boy, he paid the others no mind, letting them rant and curse him as he searched 

for the seventeen year old. Hopefully he was alive by then. After fifteen set of arms and legs and an old man's walker, Harry found the wider boy, his eyes crunched 

close and rubbing his bump on the head with a sore arm. 

Harry pursed his lips before tapping his shoulder. 

' I'm so sorry! I don't know what got into me! I didn't mean to push you down! Are you alright?! I'm so sorry Diggory ! I swear I make it up to you!... ' the raven 

haired boy rambled on, helping the taller teen to stand on his feet unsteadily. By then the Weasleys had shown up, curious to see what was this all about, along with 

them was Amos Diggroy looking for his son. Harry felt his stomach sank down, looking back at Cedric again. Cedric was still rubbing the bump, his left hand in 

Harry's merely for balance. 

' Cedric? Son are you okay?! ' 

' Harry! Harry is that you! ' Harry didn't dare turn his head from Amos Diggroy's scrunched up and angry face, mixed in with concern for his son all at once.

Harry cleared his throat. ' Sir I can explain... ' but before the Gryffindor could muster up and answer, Cedric has opened his eyes, flashing a dashing smile at his dad 

before shrugging. 

' sorry dad, my fault. I lost my balance on the stairs. ' he said, convincingly squeezing Harry's hand so the gaping boy could close his mouth. Arthur Weasley came 

forward, grabbing him by the shoulders. His blue eyes shining with parental concern. 

' what about you Harry? Are you okay? Injured? Ron get the portkey! We're taking Harry...' Harry shook his head, though very touched by the concern.

' no Mr. Weasley, I didn't even fall...I was....' Harry gulped. ' clutching the hand rail. ' he finished as his eyes caught Cedric's. The handsome boy nodding subtly as 

Ron and Hermione rounded their friend. 

' tough luck mate. ' Ron whistled, looking at the stair Harry pushed Cedric down from. Hermione hit Ron in the shoulder heatedly. ' Ron! Harry could've been hurt! 

Don't talk like that! ' Ron stuck at his tongue at the girl, who stuck her own tongue out back at him. Harry rolled his eyes. 

' let's not get over ourselves guys, it was just an accident. ' he emphasized on the word, making sure that Cedric heard him. The boy gave a cocky smirk in Harry's 

direction, trying to bat off his over protective father. Harry looked away, painfully aware of the blush warming his neck once again. 

Ron caught the exchange and jabbed Harry in the ribs, indicating the boy that they should head down to their tents. Harry really didn't want to though, he knew 

that he really needed to apologize to Diggory, accepting sadly that the hufflepuff won't even look at him after this little mishap. How could he not?! Harry had given 

the other boy a concussion, a bump on the head and a sore arm. If it was Harry himself he would've been plotting his revenge against other boy already. He was 

really lucky that Cedric was a good hearted, kind hufflepuff. 

Everything went smoothly after that, families parted ways as they all headed to their tents, all,of them exhausted, tired, and hungry ( in Ron's case )   
Harry played with his food mournfully, cursing himself as he revived that awful scene again and again in his mind. What the hell was he thinking poking the boy's 

chest like that? What was he doing anyways?! Surely he wasn't gushing on Diggory's muscular form like an idiot? 

Harry groaned, dropping his head in his hands, feeling completely inconsolable. 

' everything all right there Harry? ' Arthur asked, his tone jovial but also hinted with suspicious . 

' yeah, just a headache. ' Harry's muffled voice replied back. Arthur squeezed the boy's shoulder. 

' why don't you get some sleep then? You must be exhausted. ' and Harry did just that. He slept peacefully in his makeshift bed, without a single trace of his usual 

nightmares, until someone rudely shook him awake by the shoulders roughly, almost hurting him. 

Harry was snapped awake groggily. ' wha'? ' 

' there's no time. Fred, George take Ginny! Harry grab your coat and your wand! '

' Bill, Charlie follow me! ' Arthur Weasley turned to see Cedric Diggory standing by the tent. 

' you three! Go with Cedric, go into the woods, now! ' Harry didn't have the chance to comprehend as he was dragged away by his two other friends, each clutching 

one of Harry's hands.

' what happened? ' Ron asked, stifling a yawn as they made their way out of the tent quickly. Cedric just shook his head,drawing his wand in a dueling position.

' deatheaters. ' /

 

Harry gasped heavily, leaning back in his chair. A killing headache pounding in his head. Harry grabbed his head with his hand, the pen clutched tightly in the other 

one. He closed his eyes, swallowing the bile of vomit in his throat. Who would've thought that writing out a memory would be so exhausting? He thought, slowly 

opening his eyes. 

Green orbs widened at the sight before him, he threw the pen and stood unsteadily, knocking the chair over, sending it crashing loudly against his bed. But he didn't 

care. 

There, right in his notebook the word ' MURDERER ' was written all over the page, not a single blank space was found, the paper even ripped in several places at the 

sheer force he might have used. Harry's eyes watered, his vision swimming as the word etched itself in his mind. 

' kill the spare! ' 

' NOOOOO! ' 

' murderer. Just a murderer like me now Potter. you know what else we have in common Potter?' the smell of rotten corpse hit him in the face.

' we're like a poisonous fruit, a forbidden one. We spoil everything we touch.' Harry shuddered at the voice, the words making him feel tainted, dirty and so evil.   
Harry crashed down to the floor with a chocked sob, not even noticing as Vernon barged in the room, yelling and ranting at his nephew for waking them in the 

middle of the night. Harry did the only thing that helped his mind deal with the gut wrenching, horrible realization. He screamed. 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Hermione Jean Granger couldn't remember being so excited and so full of adrenalin before meeting Harry and Ron. 

Before Hogwarts, her life was reading books, memorizing the details she knew she wouldn't use, and read books again. She loved books, don't get her wrong, but life 

seemed dull and meaningless, without any friends at school, or being bullied by other students all the time, because she was a bossy know it all. 

Now looking back Hermione wondered how she could've survived without her friends, even in Hogwarts. Five years ago when she still was a bossy know it all girl, 

yeah, now she still was a bossy bushy haired know it all, but with friends, and a purpose to live. 

She could actually use the information she had memorized, she could help Ron and Harry and save the magical world year after year... Thanks to Harry Potter 

being wanted by Voldemort, She And Ron were now something more, they were mostly trained, and they had improved so much from the clueless eleven year old 

kids they once were that it was almost unbelievable. And she couldn't just love her life any less. 

At least, that's what she told herself as she and Ron crawled down a filthy tunnel, down in the ground. 

"Harry owes us so much for this. " She grumbled, gagging as her hand slipped on a dead rat's corpse. Ron fastened his crawl, afraid of any kind of spiders, falling 

down on his hair or body. After five years in life threatening situations, they both knew better than to gag merely at a animal's dead corpse. 

"He better be thankful. "He grumbled back, resisting the urge to sneeze as he breathed in the dust. 

She cried out as her hand slipped again, then breathed out. It's for Harry, she reminded herself, it's all for Harry. Oh that git better be thankful, she swore that she 

could just kill Voldemort with bare hands for destroying their lives like that, and trapping her in a confined place, dark and dusty and filthy and....filled with 

animal's corpses. She was eternally thankful for the darkness, she could just imagine how hysterical Ron could get if he saw a spider down here.   
"Hermione? You there? " He asked, craning his neck to look back at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Where else?"

She could feel Ronald's blush as she said this. "I didn't mean it like that you prat! I meant are you even listening to me? " 

"I am now Ron. " She said. 

"I said... There's a hole in our plan. What if they notice we're missed? Think about it ' mione. A simple point me spell could ruin everything, I've think we need to go 

back and plan this thing in peace, and light and out of this hole filled with s...spiders..." 

"Ron, we did plan this out, we're in our room studying, remember? Besides we won't be gone that long to be missed, the point me spell, if they even work still only 

points at the floor, seeing as we're beneath it right now. There's no way they could find us, I think this plan is brilliant. " She sneezed again, her body almost crashing 

into Ron's. 

Ron sneezed right after her, craning his neck to look at Hermione again. "Its Sirius's house though; doesn't that mean he knows this place well enough to know 

where we are? " Ron asked, somewhat angrily. 

Hermione sighed, irritated and exasperated. "Well, we're here now, aren't we? "

"Harry owes us so much for this." Ron grumbled again as he crawled faster.

"I know. " she grunted, not even wrinkling her knows as a small insect, undoubtedly a spider crawled on her hand. She stifled her cry, in fear that Ron would hear 

her. 

"You okay? "Ron asked. 

Hermione nodded. "Yeah, just feeling claustrophobic." She said breathlessly, feeling the big insect trudging up her hand and moving to her forearm.   
Oh, alright. Ron turned, crawling in a slower pace now. 

" Could we go any faster? " her skin shivered as the bug traveled up her arm, she itched to just bat it away but the place was really small for that, and she hated to 

agitate the bug, that could crawl and bite her again, besides she didn't want Ron to notice anything. 

"Sure, let's crawl faster in a dark filthy tunnel filled with death traps and dead animals; gee I wonder what could possibly go wrong?" Ron snapped back sarcastically.

"The traps are for rats. Ronald, rats. " the pipes hissed savagely, startling the teenagers as they crawled forward. 

"Doesn't Mean it can't hurt us, most of them are cursed, besides this is the /Black family/ we're talking about. "

"What about it? "Hermione asked, just to distract herself from the bug. The hissing getting close as they went, by this point Hermione wondered if they were lost or 

the pipes simply were in their way.

"You don't know?" Ron tried to hide his excitement. "Well, basically the black family is a really old pureblood family, purebred too. Very few blacks have ever 

married a muggle born, or a muggle, or even a half blood. The ones who did were all disowned from the family Crest. It's a really dark family too, as bleak as their 

name though. Dad said they positively swam in dark magic, if the Malfoys are barely dabbling in it; the Black family has been swimming in a pool of dark magic for 

decades, possibly centuries." Ron quoted, quite oblivious to his friend stifling a scream as another bug attacked her other hand. 

"What happened? " she asked, her voice gruff and on edge. Once again wrinkling her nose at the rotten smell.

Ron shrugged. "The house we live in, you noticed how dark it is? Filled with dark artifacts and deathly curses? Well that's because this is the pureblood family's 

headquarters where they held their meetings, way before it was for the order. And not just any purebloods, followers of you know who, Sirius basically grew up in a 

suffocating globe of dark magic, it's a wonder he's unaffected by it. " 

Hermione, secretly amazed at Ron's knowledge, hid her surprise as she asked. 

"Then thats why it is so....Cursed, weren't the purebloods afraid that it would hurt them instead?" after all aside from Sirius, she was sure other children resided in the 

house as well.

"Well no one knows." Ron hesitated. "Although I have a theory. " he said uncertainly, his tone wavering with the lack of self confidence he had just seconds ago. 

Ron's hand slipped on a slimy substance, but the red haired was way too engrossed in his mind to notice. 

"Oh?" she asked, finally batting the bug away from her shoulder. 

"Well....it's stupid. Forget I said anything. " Ron turned his head. Also getting annoyed at the mindless hissing. 

"Wait! I mean, wait, tell me... What is it? " Hermione almost yelped in fear as a spider crawled down her leg. All for Harry, she reminded herself. 

"Its..." Ron sighed. "I think it was more than that. More than a headquarters, I think. " 

"What? What do you mean?" Her head snapped up, looking at Ron's back with surprise. 

"Well, I understand, that they booby-trapped the whole house for security, but even by purebloods standards, this is a little too much... I know Sirius is tight lipped 

about it. But I think there's something here. " his eyes narrowed at the thought.

"Something else?" Hermione's tone was laced in curiosity and disgust. Upon the smell, mind you, not her friend.

:Yeah, like the purebloods have all hidden something here, I know it's stupid, but think about it, why else would have they cursed the third floor or the drawing room 

so heavily? From what we found out in the last few days, there are tunnels underneath the house? So what if there are other secret passages in the drawing room up 

to the third floor? Or maybe there's something in the drawing room that they didn't want anyone to have?: Ron replied self consciously. 

Hermione stopped dead in her tracks. Hidden artifact? Her eyes widened, needling the information and Ron's theory into a big long chain. 

Artifact....cursed drawing room, and kreature being all protective of every heirloom that Sirius carelessly threw away... Sirius who threw away everything without 

even thinking about it twice... Heavily guarded and underground passageways... 

Her mind was spinning madly, she had no idea Sirius's family were you know who supporters, she just shuddered as she thought about Sirius's childhood as he grew 

up in this place. 

" I see a light. " Ron suddenly exclaimed, he crawled towards the rays of lights filtering through the floorboards, Hermione sighed in relief and hurried after the red 

haired boy quickly.

The two made their way under the said floorboard, ready to burst out before they heard a uncomfortable cough.

" Headmaster, I really insist on the matter. Summer is the only time I have to myself... Surely you could make other arrangements? " a silky voice drawled frantically, 

Hermione ducked as Snape paced the floor, filling their lungs with saw dust. Ron threw her a confused glance, unsure as to why Dumbledore and Snape were 

meeting in privet. 

" I'm afraid there is no other way Severus, it might not be anything at all. You know how kettleburn tends to exaggerate things a little. " the headmaster's kind 

grandfatherly voice, sent ripples down their spine, making them feel guilty for eavesdropping. 

" Albus, you didn't sound like you doubted Kettleburn in your office, if you're simply changing your mind because you fear the dog's reaction, you can rest assured, 

I'm the one who's telling him." Ron screwed up his face as Snape called Sirius by that awful name. He wiggled his eyebrows at Hermione, silently asking if she knew 

what they were talking about.

Hermione just shrugged, her ears straining to hear the muffled whispers. 

".... Not well.... "

" you're not actually sure of that fact.... "

" we need.....get Sirius..... I did not expect..... " the teenagers leaned upward, both breathing slowly, their eyes narrowed in concentration. 

"But you did. This is partly your fault as well. Minerva told you that specifically, weeks before the term ended Albus. Weeks! " the angry potion master stomped his 

way across the room once again, And Ron literally had to hold his breath to prevent sneezing. 

"An old man's mistake Severus. I did not expect it to end like this. " Hermione raised her eyebrow, she didn't know Snape was that close to the headmaster to 

actually scowl the man. 

They heard a loud snort following by Snape saying. "That's just it Albus isn't it? You didn't expect him to go nuts on you, did you? " the bitter tone caught the teens 

by surprise, who was the potion master talking about? 

" that's what you think? You think that I merely want the boy for his skills? " Dumbledore replied back in a cold tone. Surprising the three, the Gryffindors had never 

heard the headmaster talk like that to anyone. Not even Voldemort himself.

"Don't you Albus? Isn't the savior merely there for your benefit? For ' the greater good ' and saving us all? " Severus sneered. Ron took in a breath sharply. They were 

talking about Harry. He realized. 

"Of course I don't you idiotic boy! I love Harry like my own grandson, " the headmaster paused, sighing tiredly. "There are things that you don't understand, and my 

actions as much as it pains me to do so, are all done with reasons, hard fact reasons that I could not ignore for the fear of the boy's safety. Severus you know that I'm 

not that kind of man! "

"Well, your reasons apparently hadn't predict this! You could've prevented this! By just letting the brat stay for the summer, or at least taking him to a therapist! "   
Ron almost yelped in shock, Hermione's own trembling hand, the only thing that was blocking the sound. Therapist?! They both exclaimed. What was going on 

here?! Hermione panted indignantly, trying to rid the upcoming sneezing away. 

Ron pinched her on the arm, pointing at the way they just came through. Hermione followed his finger before nodding. They couldn't send Harry a letter now, not 

without having more information, and they would be missed pretty soon if they didn't go back now. 

Just as they were about to turn and crawl back, Ron let out a loud sneeze, slightly muffled by his palm. Hermione glared back at him, silently mouthing ' Seriously?!!! 

' 

" what was that? " they heard Snape surging to his feet as the two tried to crawl back as quietly As possible.

" a mouse Severus. What else could it have been? " Album answered but pointed his own wand at the ground nonetheless. 

Hermione shook her head, rushing past Ron faster as they both distanced themselves from the flickering light, their hands slipping constantly on dead rats. 

" oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Ron that was so close!! " Hermione exclaimed after they both were sure that were far enough. 

"Did you hear Snape? Something is going on mione, they were talking about Harry. " Ron stated the obvious, looking down to check his watch.

"Damn! " he swore. " we're late mione! Hurry! " 

The teenagers crawled as fast as they could, getting out of the hole, and crawling back to the surface in Ron's room. Covered in filth, dust and....spiders. Ron swore 

loudly, running to the bathroom indignantly, as he screamed like a girl, diving under the cold shower.

The book worm sighed wearily, shrugging off her own filthy clothes before putting on one of Ron's sweat shirts and pants.   
She would've blushed heavily for doing so, but her mind was way more occupied with the conversation they just over heard. 

I hope you're alright Harry. She silently mused before padding to the shower and waiting for the screaming Ron to finish already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVIEW PLEASE :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> petuina's thoughts, Ron and mione's strange letter, and cedric enters his name in the tournament (flashback)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, i'm so sorry that the schedule spun out of control but i've been having a crappy time lately. as a reward i would update two chapters tomorrow, so thank you for all the comments, kudus and bookmarks guys, they really make my day so keep'em coming! 
> 
> if you don't mind, i have a little homework for you before you read this chapter, i really need you guys to read this article before reading the rest of the story, so we all be on the same page here, huh? it's not long don't worry ;)
> 
> here's the link, it's a medical site; http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/dissociative-amnesia#1
> 
> thank you for reading this story, you're all lovelies ;) 
> 
> /italic,flashback/  
> *bold*

Chapter four ; of revelations & scandals 

Petunia Dursley nee Evans was an average housewife. She had every quality you looked for in a perfect wife ; she was clean, she cared about her husband immensely 

and she absolutely adored their precious son. She was an acceptable cook and she also lived in Surrey privet drive number4. Positively the most normal and average 

house you would find in that place. Where everything just looked the same. But it was perfect for her. For Petunia Evans it might have been boring or too average. 

But for Petunia Dursley, It was perfect. 

And it had only been for fifteen months before her perfect illusion of her perfect life went straight down the drain. Petunia sneered at the sheer thought of the boy, 

who was now passed out on his bed, finally cried himself out. How weak and pathetic, she thought to herself. The nerve of that boy ruining their lives by his mere 

existence made her shudder all over. Vernon hadn't even touched the boy before he went off like a banshee, screaming himself hoarse as Vernon tried to knock 

some sense into him. Evidently, even her capable husband hadn't been quick enough, in a matter of seconds neighbors came rapping at the door, asking if 

everything was alright. 

Petunia closed her eyes, her lips once again curled in disdain and her heart clenched in utter misery. 

She hated to be abnormal, she hated anything freaky, or out of ordinary, and that idiot brat screaming his head off at 3 am was certainly not normal. She shuddered 

again, as she imagined the gossip spreading around by tomorrow.

'The Dursely's freakish nephew had an episode last night.' Petunia imagined Mary saying on the phone to Janet ( oh how she despised that woman)  
'It seemed pretty bad, the screams were inhuman, abnormal, out of ordinary, don't even know why Petunia puts up with that boy ' Petunia could just imagine Janet 

saying from the other side of the line. 

'I think it's genetic, I heard Petunia's sister had it too, no wonder Petunia herself seems out of sorts these last few years. '

' she seemed out of sorts the day she and her husband moved in here dear. ' 

Petunia clenched her fingers around her lukewarm tea, her nails digging into the cup's delicate surface. That little brat. She thought savagely. Everything was his 

fault! Every little mishaps, every catastrophic event, even her son's unsuccessful career was the freak's fault. Petunia was appalled at Potter's behavior this summer. 

Not that the boy is not disdainful all the time. She reassured herself.

Petunia jolted out of her thoughts with that thought, was she doubting herself? Surely not. She huffed, making a big show out of standing up and pouring her tea 

down the drain. 

If the boy couldn't learn to keep his mouth shut then he had to at least shut it another way for other people to get some rest. She then put the cup in the drain 

harshly. Neighbors would get suspicious if the screaming fits continued. Maybe the boy should tape his mouth before sleeping?  
The boy was odd from the start. She sighed in her mind. Even in childhood the boy was so.... Abnormal and freakish, one of the reasons Petunia abhorred the boy so 

much was his oddness even when he was young and supposedly innocent. 

Petunia remembered rather clearly how the four year old Potter sang in his cupboard the nights he was locked in, at first they thought the boy was repeating 

Petunia's lullabies for himself, but after Petunia herself had investigated farther the results were certainly frightening. The child was not singing in English, or Irish 

or any other languages... The boy just hummed to himself happily while singing in what Petunia thought at first was gibberish, but upon farther research she found 

was ancient Latin. Which she thought was ridiculous since the boy was only four. 

Petunia Dursley remembered the boy running around in the park when he was allowed out of the house, she remembered quite vividly when Dudley came back to 

her crying as he claimed that Harry was playing with an invisible dog and how much Dudley wanted to play with one too. 

Petunia never told any of these to Vernon, she knew that her husband would kill the boy instantly, and his firm hand on the ungrateful brat was enough just for 

now anyway. She now remembered when she thought the reason was that vile thing.... Magic. She sneered at the thought. She thought that magic was the reason why 

the boy was so odd and out of place... But then Lily had never acted like that. She reasoned with herself. 

Petunia honestly didn't know, but she also knew that if Potter had truly lost it, then they'd be incapable of caring for him anymore. She thought, her stomach 

churning with giddiness. Her house certainly was not an asylum. She endured the freak for fifteen years, making her house, her home, her domain, into a bloody 

orphanage. Giving the boy everything, food, clothes, letting him attend that freaky school... Petunia's face was painted in an ugly sneer once again upon the thought 

of that horrible school. Jealousy and hate spread through her veins, pumping in her heart and making her gasp with hate as her heart beat faster. She walked up the 

stairs quietly, her body dead tired, but her mind crowded with morbid thoughts. 

Her eyes wandered to the bolted room unconsciously, ten locks placed firmly on the battered door, each locked and bolted so the freak couldn't get out anymore. 

She knew that she had given the boy that privilege this summer. His freedom, was certainly a privilege, about to be taken once again starting tomorrow. She nodded 

in approval. 

Petunia stalked to the door, wishing so hard that it was open enough for her to go in and slap the unconscious boy, slap him hard and firm with the back of her 

hand as she shrieked at him, as she told him what exactly she thought of him and his freaky parents... Of Lily. 

Petunia turned her head away, willing the thought of her sister to the back of her mind where she would stay dead forever. 

What would she think? Petunia found herself wondering as she passed Potter's room, making her way down the hall purposefully. 

Would she be disappointed? At the boy Potter turned out to be? At the way Petunia raised the little wretch? She sighed tiredly, shrugging into her night clothes once 

again that night , and making her way under the covers, cuddling up to a snoring Vernon. 

It didn't matter anyway. She huffed. The woman was dead, gone and never coming back. She on the other hand needed her rest, so smiling pleasantly Petunia 

Dursley nee Evans eventually drifted to sleep , quite unaware of how drastically things would change in the following days. 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

" Harry? Harry? Wake up. " a soft melodic voice whispered in his ear gently. Harry liked that voice, it was like velvet, soft and melodic and just right in his ears. The 

raven haired boy shifted, not being able to do much, as he was unable to move at all due to exhaustion. 

" Harry? You need to wake up now. " there was the voice again, Harry found himself giggling for some reason, he really really liked that voice, he only wished the 

voice was just there with him now. 

Harry shifted again, this time actually moving his hands a bit. Why was he so exhausted anyway? Was Vernon drunk again? Harry thought hard, mentally 

inspecting his body for suspicious pains or injuries. Nope. He concluded, he was not injured, he was just so tired. 

" Harry now. You need to wake up now. Someone needs to let Hedwig in the house before Uncle Vernon shows up. " Harry groaned at the voice, burying his face in 

his surprisingly soft pillow. His mind felt like it was stuck in a pool of melted chocolate. Thick and velvet like and so good that Harry never wanted to wake up. 

Unfortunately the voice had other ideas. 

" Harry! Hedwig! Your owl. Wake up you lump and let the ruddy owl in already! " the voice said, snapping his fingers loudly in Harry's ears. Harry groaned louder, 

finally able to roll over in his bed, pulling his thin battered quilt over his face. 

" Harry! Hedwig! " the voice snapped and shook his shoulders roughly. Harry pouted, throwing the quilt off of his frail body and struggled to open his eyes.  
He shouldn't be this tired, in fact he shouldn't be tired at all... His chores were pretty light yesterday, he mainly cooked or dusted the house... Wait, he also did have 

garden chores... But still, he shouldn't be this tired. Harry pried his eyes open painfully, groaning once again as the harsh sun slapped him right in the face. 

" I swear Harry if you don't get up now, I will slap you so hard you'll be knocked unconscious again! " 

" now what would be the point in that? " Harry replied back cheekily, his voice hoarse and scratchy for some reason. Harry sat on his bed, running a tired hand 

through his wild untamed hair in an unsuccessful attempt to flatten it down. 

" Hedwig, you git. She's been by the window for half an hour now. " Cedric's story Gray eyes swam in his blurred vision, Harry fumbled for his glasses, his head still 

heavy with sleep and his ears ringing annoyingly. 

" what happened? " he asked, pushing the frail rimmed glasses up his nose. 

The hufflepuff shrugged his eyes trailing after Harry as the younger boy got up to open the window. 

" you passed out. " he said carefully, searching in Harry's emerald green eyes, looking for any kind of recognition.

" oh? " Harry frowned, taking the letter from Hedwig's talon, ignoring the bird's angry nips at his ear. 

" yes. " 

" why? Was uncle Vernon drunk again? " Harry squinted his eyes as he tried to remember, Harry crouched down on the floor, pulling out some owl treats for 

Hedwig out of his secret stash. 

Cedric sighed sadly, his eyes shadowed over with frustration and utter misery. 

" No. " he replied shortly. Harry did not notice the short answer however as he ripped his letter open ; it seemed like a combined letter from Ron and Hermione... 

Harry mused, so the two finally decided to grace him with their attention? Harry opened the letter, his finger catching on the page's sharp edge as it dragged across 

the paper, smearing droplets of blood on the parchment. 

Harry hissed, sucking on the small wound to lessen the nasty sting. 

He then opened the letter with caution, careful not to cut himself or smear the paper again. 

His eyes wandering on the letter Harry quickly reread it again. 

 

/Dear bubbles 

We know that we haven't been able to communicate with you lately, but it is hardly our fault, the summer is crazy with homework and additional studies, ' mione 

and I have moved in with snuffles and moony along with my family for what you know reasons. And let me tell you something ; cleaning up all summer is not fun 

at all! I had no idea snuffles' house was so filthy! Anyways Mione and I wish that you could've been here with us, we know just how much you are suffering and that 

you need to be surrendered by the people you love. 

Anyways... I hope the muggles are treating you well, and if they're not just send a letter to us, alright mate? 

There's also another thing ; when mione & I were sneaking out to send this letter we overheard some surprising and concerning information. What we're trying to 

say is.... Are you really doing alright? We are so sorry that we couldn't be there for you, and we're sorry that you had to deal with your grief all,by your self, but don't 

worry and hang on a little, if they hadn't picked you up by the last week of July, mione and I will sneak out to you. 

I can't tell you anything else since I'm running out of paper and we don't have much time. Just know that mione and I will always be there for you no matter what.  
Love 

Mione & weasy /

 

He frowned in confusion, Ron and Mione had moved in with Sirius and Remus? For you know what reasons? What is this all about? And how in the hell did Sirius 

get a house? Harry's mind was once again fogged with swirled emotions. 

And why the bloody hell did Ron use their pet names? Was he afraid that someone else would read the letter? Perhaps someone else was residing with them in 

Sirius's so called filthy house? 

Harry's frowned deepened as he reread the letter once again, trying to break their secret code certainly was not fun, since nothing in the letter made sense. What 

was,Ron just trying to imply by saying that Harry was suffering and what was all this rubbish about grieving? Was he grieving? For who? 

He sighed tiredly, sinking down on the bed with the letter still in his hand, finding Cedric's grey eyes with his own Harry opened his mouth to explain. 

" they...Ron..and m...Mione sent me a letter. " he said, holding out the letter for Cedric. The older boy ignored the offer and walked to the bed, reading the contents 

over Harry's shoulder, his eyes shadowed over and his expression grave. 

" is everything alright? " the boy who lived was getting quite concern with his boyfriend's suspicious behavior, the boy just looked so withdrawn and worried all the 

time. 

" why did they moved in with Sirius? " he demanded angrily, his sharp glare right in Harry's confused one. 

" what? " asked a bewildered Harry. 

" why are they moving into a new house with Sirius and Remus when you're here all by yourself?! Why do they get to spend time with your godfathers, when you're 

trapped in this trash can?! " he said viciously, snatching the parchment out of Harry's hand. 

Harry could only blink, this was not Cedric at all. Cedric had never been so vicious or angry before, it just wasn't something that was in his Hufflepuff nature. What 

was going on here? 

" Cedric what are you talking about? " he asked slowly, standing so he could pick up the letter. 

" you know what I'm talking about. Aren't you angry that your best friends are out there, together having fun with your godfathers? " he repeated bitterly. Harry 

frowned, despite Cedric's bitter tone the other boy was actually right. Why did Dumbledore let the two stay with Sirius when he flat out refused Harry the chance? 

Harry cursed under his breath, oh how much he hated being kept in the dark! How much he hated to remain clueless as the world moved on around him! 

" aren't you even angry?! " Cedric spat. 

" why are you? " Harry asked bluntly, his face etched with confusion and untraceable anger. 

" Sirius and Remus offered you the chance to live with them! Not them! How can they not see how miserable you are.... "

Harry cut the ranting boy off suddenly. " hang on, how do you even know about Sirius and Remus. I never told you that my godfather was alive and well. My 

fugitive godfather, I might add. I am certain that I never told you anything about that offer. " Harry finished suspiciously. 

He knew for a fact. A reliable fact that he had never told the Hufflepuff about his home life or about his godfathers, claiming that he wasn't ready to talk about it. 

Now how exactly Cedric knew about that? 

" How? " he demanded, his eyes hard and blank as he awaited the answer anxiously. Had Cedric gone to his back, asking Ron and Hermione about him? No, Ron 

and Mione might be gits this summer but they never ratted on Harry to Cedric. Then how? 

" does it matter? That's not even the point! The point is that Sirius and.... "

" it is important to me. How do you know so much about me Cedric? " Cedric shook his head, feeling frustrated and annoyed at Harry. 

" I... I can't tell you alright. I thought I could, but...you're.... You're not ready Harry. I tried. " he stuttered to say, not looking at Harry in the eye. 

" but you stay? " Harry asked desperately, his tone suddenly frantic. Cedric hated doing this, it was like he was tricking himself into believing that Cedric was alive. 

But there was nothing he could do, so he just nodded softly, hating himself all while he rushed and pulled Harry into a comforting hug. Knowing full well that 

Harry was hugging vacant air instead of Cedric's solid warm body. 

" it'll be alright, as long as I'm here, as long as I'm with you. " and as long as you don't remember. 

Harry sighed happily, the letter all forgotten already as the paper slipped past his hand and under the bed.

The fake Cedric kicked the paper under Harry's bed, pulling the boy over to his wardrobe to choose and outfit for the day. 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

/Harry James was fuming. How dare he?! How dare he?! He stormed down the stairs, his steps clicking loudly as he stalked down each step with rage rolling off him 

in waves. 

How dare Diggory deceive him like that?! Doing something so... Idiotic, infuriating and...and irresponsible?! And without even confiding in him first! Harry swore, 

the nerve of that stupid hufflepuff! 

The enraged boy made his way to the third floor corridor, not even caring if he was found out by Msr. Norris as he walked in plain sight, without his map nor his 

cloak. 

Entering his name in that bloody cup! And for what?! For a stupid tournament! The same said tournament that had causality, the same one that Hermione said had 

killed people! Killed! As in dead, as in not coming back?! Oh, Harry was so going to kill Diggory!  
Just wait Cedric, he swore in his head stopping in front of Hufflepuff's portrait, right next to the kitchens. You dare to die on me and I will, bring you back to just kill 

you again. 

The furious teenage boy stood in front of the sleeping portrait, quietly waking it up. 

" Helga? Helga? " he called out softly. He and portrait had a lot of history together, despite being so enraged and out of control Harry found himself smiling softly. 

Recalling those first few months when both boys were desperate for some alone time, and they had ran out of hiding places, and went on without seeing each other 

for days.What with both of them being so desperate to just get a glimpse of one another. Cedric was in his NEWT s year, meaning that he had to study hard if he 

wanted to pass all his exams, or at least earn a few NEWTS. True meaning ; he had to get enough NEWTS to satisfy his father. 

And Harry's schedule couldn't possibly be more full than it already was, since Wood has decided that they needed to win the cup this year, they had to wake up at 

five am every morning, jog around the castle and then warm up on their brooms, then the training would go on for two hours straight until breakfast. Aside from 

Quidditch, Harry's lessons were also getting heavier and harder than the last three, going to a point that even Hermione needed help some days to finish her 

homework on time. 

That was when Cedric suggested his dormitory, as head boy the hufflepuff was allowed his own rooms, and had privet doors to get to it. The only obstacle was to get 

past the portrait, other hufflepuffs and the ghosts wandering basically all over the place.  
It was not however as hard as they imagined it to be, the hufflepuffs were like chickens, literally going to bed at nine pm without having a curfew, the ghosts would 

get born around eleven or so, and by one am the whole common room was deserted, that left the portrait, who obviously knew that Harry wasn't a hufflepuff, so 

even with the password Harry couldn't get in. 

Oh, just how wrong they were. 

" Harry, dear, is that you? " the melodic voice whispered sleepily. Harry nodded in the dark.

" I need to see ced, I'm sorry if I woke you up. " he said, apologetically . 

Helga the portrait waved him off, opening up the entrance for the boy to enter. 

" go easy on him dear, will you? " she chuckled softly as Harry grumbled, and begun crawling down the badger's hole. One thing the made Harry like the hufflepuff 

common room so much was the earth like environment, the place was all done in soft colors, mostly in topaz and mellow yellow with brown curtains covering the 

charmed windows. 

Harry also liked the dormitory settings, not that he had seen it himself but from what Cedric told him, sleeping in the nest like rooms were much better than the 

Gryffindors four poster beds or Slytherin's down in the dungeons. 

Shaking his thoughts away, Harry recalled how angry he was supposed to be as he quietly brushed off the dust and walked to the head boy rooms.  
He knocked on the door firmly, also making sure to put a silencing chair around the door if things got loud. Hufflepuff were also a very light sleeper bunch, stirring 

at every little creak or knack. 

Harry tried really hard to retain a crimson blush creeping up on his features as he saw his disheveled boyfriend stand by the door, his eyes groggy and his soft brown 

hair tousled so thoroughly that Harry just itched to run his fingers through them. You're angry Harry, get in the mad cow mood, not the lover over heels, he berated 

himself. The blushing boy cleared his throat. 

" asleep? " he tried to sound as Stern as he could at four am, which wasn't as much as he wanted. 

Cedric shook his head, and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

" Harry? What the hell? " with his voice so hoarse and frustrated, Harry wondered when they could get past the arguing already and get to the kissing part. Clearing 

his throat again, Harry held his chin up. 

" I don't know, why doesn't the great champion tell me? " he asked sarcastically, crossing his arms over his sweat shirt clad chest. 

Cedric's eyes snapped open, wide awake he stood aside and let the fuming boy in. Seeing Cedric so wide awake and snapped out of his tousled cute sleepy mood, 

Harry could exactly recall why he was so angry, the boy stomped past the older boy, seething and gritting his teeth as he waited for Cedric to close the door. 

" Now, can I ask, what my furious boyfriend is doing in my room, sitting on my bed at four am? " Cedric asked, crooking an eyebrow at Harry who had settled 

down on Cedric's unmade bed. 

" champion? Cup? The spur of the moment? Does that ring any bells Diggory? " Harry sneered, crossing his leg over the other and glared at the other boy savagely.  
Cedric's startled expression soon was replaced with a resigned one.

" so you know. " it wasn't a question, nor was it a statement, it more sounded like a man with a death wish to Harry. He narrowed his eyes, sharp emerald eyes 

boring into Diggory's.

" if by knowing you mean, finding out from Slytherins gossiping around the castle and calling you names, then yes, Diggory! I know! Now explain yourself! " he 

stood up, stomping his foot on the ground just to prove a point. 

Cedric sighed, moving to his bed, he dropped down and sat there lazily, as if he hadn't a care in the world. Harry snarled, I give him something to cry about! 

" there is nothing to explain. I felt like entering, so I did. " the other boy answered in his best nonchalant voice. 

Harry growled. " felt like it?! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! " he yelled, quickly making his way to the bed to hit the older boy. 

" what is it with you? " Cedric asked suddenly, glaring at Harry like entering an deadly tournament was none of his business. 

Harry snorted in disbelief. Oh the nerve of.....! " gee, I don't know. Maybe I'm just angry that my boyfriend just entered a deadly tournament! Yes Cedric! With 

Death tolls! Without even asking me first!!" he spat out incredulously, his screwed up face inches from Diggory's. 

Cedric snorted uncharacteristically. " you're not the one competing Harry. I don't understand why are you overreacting like this! " the hufflepuff said, also surging to 

his feet.

Harry just saw red, he leant forward and slapped the sleepy hufflepuff right on the cheek. 

" I'm not overreacting you git! You don't understand do you?! You can die!!! " Harry was heaving, his own stinging hand clutching Cedric's collar. 

" precautions are being... " Cedric started in his know it all voice.

" precautions my ass! " Harry poked the boy on his chest, feeling slightly deja vu as the world Cup scene filled his mind. 

" You are overreacting! Harry it's going to be alright, Dumbledore wouldn't let anything happen to me. " his tone changed from the anger to the soothing Hufflepuff 

Harry was quite familiar with. But Harry didn't let himself be fooled. 

" yes, but things still happen! Cedric why are you so keen on doing this?! "

" because I need to prove myself. " the other boy said firmly. 

Harry sank down to bed. Shaking his head. " to whom? To me? To your father? To Hufflepuff? To who Cedric?! " he said, his eyes closing as he imagined Cedric 

battling with deadly creatures just to prove a point, getting gravely injured, or merlin forbid, getting killed, just to prove himself to...

" Who?" he asked again, when the grey eyed teen refused to answer. 

" myself. " Harry felt his facade crumbling down as he just sat there with his mouth hanging open, his hand still loose on Cedric's shirt and his heaving breath so 

loud in his ears that Harry wished it would cease. 

" what? " he whispered softly, looking at Cedric with widened eyes, asking for confirmation. Cedric gathered all his courage before holding his chin up almost 

arrogantly.

" I need to prove it to myself. Prove that I'm worthy. " the tone was so unwavering so sure that for a moment there Harry almost believed him, it was the momentary 

look in Cedric's eyes that did it. Harry shook his head. 

" shut. Up. " he commanded, his fingers tightening around the loose collar. 

" I'm telling you the truth. " he replied back quickly. Too quickly, Harry concluded. 

Harry snarled again. " it's about him. Isn't it? " 

Cedric didn't deny it, and Harry didn't need him to, he knew the hufflepuff well enough by now to know when he was lying. 

" it is about him. Why don't you just tell your dad to bugger off! " Harry cursed, he knew he just insulted Cedric's dad, but the fuming boy couldn't just help it! He 

had heard enough stories to know just what kind of man Amos Diggory was. 

" he just sounded so excited, boasting about it all summer, gloating about how much he wanted see me winning the tournament. And the shine in his eyes... I just 

couldn't resist." Cedric sank down as well, his face etched with utter misery. 

" you don't have to do it. " Harry said softly, smoothing Cedric's collar with his hand slowly. Cedric old feel the Gryffindor cool off slowly, the anger ebbing away 

and being replaced with bitter acceptance. 

" your father is a prat. " 

" I know. " Cedric chuckled, pulling Harry into a loose embrace, both boy feeling rather sleepy as the minutes passed. 

" Cedric? Please, there's still time, we can go to Dumbledore.... " Harry trailed off, his face title up, making direct eye contact with the Hufflepuff. 

" I cannot . Harry I promised him. " Cedric said, resting his chin on the trembling boy's head. 

" don't do it. Don't enter the tournament Ced. " Harry felt like choking. He had a bad feeling about this, he had never felt so scared and saddened at the same time, 

he resisted his urge to shudder, unsure as to why there was a huge lump stuck in his throat. Cedric pulled Harry closer, kissing the top of his head. Harry instantly 

felt better and snuggle closer to the warm body. Cedric laughed, his breath warming and welcome, brushing Harry softly on his neck. 

" what is a life without risks? " he gave a cocky grin. Ruffling Harry's messy black hair Playfully. 

" a life without you. " Harry snapped. Batting the hand away angrily, the overwhelming feeling of grief washed over him, as he closed his eyes to keep the tears at 

bay. This is ridiculous. He thought to himself. You're being ridiculous. 

" don't be ridiculous Harry. It's just a game. "Cedric waved him off, before leaning down and giving Harry a quick peck on the lips. He dragged Harry's body up with 

him, guiding the overwhelmed boy to the door.

" you need some sleep Har. And I think Ron will have a heart attack, when he wakes up without you there. " Cedric teased, pushing the reluctant teen to the door. 

Harry did not protested, but did not feel like walking back all the way to the tower, he'd much rather just snuggle up with Cedric in his warm and comfortable 

looking beds, but the guilt of scaring Ron started gnawing at him as soon as he thought about it. 

After four years of life threatening situations, his friends just knew better than to leave him all by himself. Just last week Ron almost flipped when he found Harry 

out of bed in the middle of the night, instantly rushing to the girl's dormitory and waking Hermione up frantically. Those two practically ripped the castle apart that 

night looking for Harry, only to find him snuggled up to his boyfriend fast asleep in the kitchens. Ron didn't spoke to him after that for two days, claiming that he 

had a minor heart attack and Harry should be more considerate. 

" come on, don't I get a goodnight kiss? " Cedric's playful voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Harry mock glared, but leant up anyways, just on the tip of his toes. 

Slightly annoyed that he was ridiculously shorter than his boyfriend. Cedric kissed back lovingly, before letting Harry go. 

" good night squirt, " he said. Harry feeling the dismissal, turned to leave, slightly miffed that the kiss wasn't longer or more deeper. 

" oh and Harry? " the said boy turned, smiling as he saw Cedric's grinning face. 

" warn a guy before jumping him in the middle of the night, next time I'll brush my teeth. " Harry grinned slowly and did a mock curtsy before walking out of the 

common room and to his tower.

All while trying to contain the harboring sense of grief and wrongness that washed over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...so, did you like it? sorry about the CAPITAL usage by the way, or the lack thereof. i don't have a beta, so some of the chapters aren't thoroughly edited. so yes, i would love if any of you wants to beta the story.... now, back to the article, did you read it? or did you just sneaked down here to see what i have? 
> 
> if you did read the article, and you were smart enough to stick by the story so far,( which you all are ;) ) you might already know, what i'm doing here. 
> 
> you see, one of the most obvious symptoms of Dissociative Amnesia is jumbled thoughts and long gaps in memory, blank spaces or broken down pictures and scenes out of our minds. it's chaotic, it often doesn't make sense, and it's very frustrating or confusing. 
> 
> you've probably read stories when the protagonist is faced with trauma or mental health issues, which often happens in third person, and the reader is the master of the story so to speak, the know it all and on the upper level here while characters are drenched in suspense and angst.
> 
> I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT ;)
> 
> from what you've read so far, and what you will read, you will understand what i mean, the story is in third person? yes it is. but here's the catch; you don't know everything. thoughts are jumbled, confusing and sometimes doesn't make any sense if you're not following the story, exactly the way Harry feels. i /want/ you to feel the way Harry does, go through the same suspense and confusion before clarity, and /ride/ Harry's emotional roller coaster with him as the story progresses and things are explained.
> 
> of course everything will eventually circle back and all will be explained, and i leave you clues and chains, you won't be left hanging, and rest assured that you can ask anything whenever you want.
> 
> so, who's up for a jumpy ride filled with romance, drama, 'n good old mystery ?


	5. chapter five; These violent delights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you're not here. " he whispered, his voice broken and hoarse. 
> 
> " I'm not. " Cedric replied, kneeling in front of the bed, his ghost like hand caressing Harry's cheek sadly.
> 
> " you're not Cedric ." blows landed on him painfully, every single limb burned in pain as Vernon landed his belt on him. Harry couldn't care less, he did not even 
> 
> flinch as the belt found its way on his face, his eyes were set on Cedric, dull and realizing. 
> 
> " he's gone. " he muttered, big droplet of tears escape through his closed eyelids. The nausea returned, and Harry retched , the blood flowing out of his mouth like 
> 
> water, staining his shirt, bed and Vernon's belt crimson. 
> 
> And Harry couldn't care less if he died. Cedric was /gone/.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here, as promised, the suggested song for this chapter is 'you were never gone' by Hannah ellis, please give it a shot while you're reading the chapter. 
> 
> please review, no matter how short or how long, they will matter to me.
> 
> /italics,flashback/
> 
> 'snippets of conversations or past memories' 
> 
> *bold*

Chapter five ; These violent delights 

/You don't have to promise me the moon or the stars  
You have to promise, that you stay under them with me. Forever./

_unknown 

Monday morning found Severus Snape sitting in his favorite armchair in the staff room, with his chin resting on the palm of his hand, and his famous sneer fixed in 

place, one would've said he was brooding, sulking or wallowing in self pity, but most of the other professor knew better anyway. 

This was the potion master's special thinking pose, when he usually knew something that the others didn't at first, hence the reason for this meeting. 

Professors all watched Snape with sick fascination, determining whether the news were good or bad, or perhaps what sort of mood Albus was in today, seeing as 

Snape was the only one meeting the man since yesterday. 

“Now there Severus! Enough of those frown! Tell us what happened already. “Pomona Sprout exclaimed, her kind face graced with a big smile. 

Severus merely grunted, not even lifting his eyes to meet the other's, even though he knew they were all staring at him. 

" not necessarily. " they heard him mutter, obviously to himself. 

" does is it have to do with the old crowd Severus? " Minerva asked briskly, sipping at her tea while looking at her lesson plans. 

" yes, Severus you can tell us, Albus is going to anyway, but this seems important. " Flitwick piped in, half standing on his chair booster. 

Trelawney bobbed her head frantically, her bug like eyes bulging to the point that all they saw on her face was just a pair of eyes. 

" There is something." she said dramatically. "I read them in my tarot cards last night! Death, destruction! Insanity! Pomona! It was horrible! " she exclaimed in her 

mystical voice, grabbing Pomona ( the only one actually listening) by the shoulders. 

" oh good gracious! Who Sybil? " the head of the Hufflepuff house gasped, although she was mostly trying to humor the woman, she looked a little unsettled.

" Pomona please cease your mindless babbling, it's quite pointless when Albus will be here in a minute, don't you think? " Severus drawled, the tall man stood and 

walked to the staff table, placing himself as far as he could from the other teachers. 

" Now Severus, that was a little rude. " Hooch berated, eyeing the flushing Pomona reassuringly. 

" but necessary. " the bitter man snapped back, not willing to back down. 

" Now ther' Severus'! It must be good new's! " Hagrid declared good heartedly, sipping at his huge mug, filled with steaming tea to the brim. 

Minerva finally raised her head to take a good look at Severus, she then looked at Poppy and nodded subtly. Whatever the news was, it was not good, from the stiff 

poster and a snarl already framed on Severus's lips, Minerva could already tell. 

" at least tell us why is Albus asking for a meeting? " Poppy asked, her eyes sternly gazing at the potion master, frowning in disprove. 

" Potter. " Snape snapped, unable to stand the ridiculous questioning any farther. 

The staff room blanched: that was possibly the last thing anyone expected the potion master to say. They all shifted in their seats, suddenly uncomfortable with the 

topic as the night of the third task came to their minds. 

" what about him? Is he okay? " Sinistra rushed to ask, her dark blue robes glittering madly as she moved. 

" that my dear girl, is what we're trying to find out. " Albus greeted kindly, entering the room with opened arms, the old man calmly walked to the head chair, with 

Fawkes souring above him. 

The headmaster sat down warily, immediately stroking his beard in an act of nervousness. All of them felt the air shift uneasily, the tension growing as Dumbledore 

just sat in his chair and stared off into space. 

" Albus? " Minerva pressed, her tone a mixture of anger and sudden found anxiety. Albus gave a startled jump before smiling tiredly. 

" pardon me Minerva, old age does not become me apparently. " even as the old man said this, they all saw the mad gleam leave his pale blue eyes. 

" It has come to my attention that the Dursleys are unable to care for Harry this summer. The old crowd all confirmed my suspicions. Therefore, since the Dursleys 

are unfit and the Weasleys are otherwise...occupied. That leaves us the only available option. " The man paused, his eyes catching Snape's beseeching expression. He 

nodded his head gravely. 

" why are they deemed unfit Albus? Has something happened? " Poppy asked. 

Albus heaved another regretful sigh as Fawkes started cooing. " I am so sorry Poppy. It seems that I have made a grave mistake, you were right, sending Harry back 

to his relatives in the state he was in... Was indeed foolish and irrational thinking on my part. " 

" what happened? " 

Albus waved his hand dismissively. " Nothing to worry about Minerva, just a slight... Complication that I did not foresee. " Severus snorted. Slight complication, 

how about a mad Potter? He drawled inwardly.

Dumbledore caught the potion master's onyx black eyes. His eyes pleading silently to keep it at that. And Severus secretly agreed, no need for the staff to know the 

whole truth. They will go crazy if they knew that the golden boy was emotionally unstable. No, no one needed to know, except maybe for poppy. Severus stretched 

his stiff back and leant back in his chair as Dumbledore cooked up a half lie sob story about Potter's guardians and the sole reason for this meeting. Yes, Poppy 

definitely needed to know. 

" where will the boy stay then? " Pomona wondered at loud, her hazel eyes shining with unshed tears. 

" here preferably , until other arrangements are made of course. It'll be temporary but necessary for Harry to stay here for a while. "

Hootch frowned. " but Albus, surely you won't let the boy be all by himself! Golden boy or not, shy or not, he's a teenage boy. " the cat like woman emphasized on 

the last word, her hands stiffly resting on the wooden table. 

" of course not my dear, while Harry will sleep in his dormitory, Severus Snape will pose as his temporary guardian. " Albus commented calmly, popping a lemon 

drop in his mouth merrily. Minerva's head snapped up, spluttering in indignation. 

" But... But.. Albus! Harry is a Gryffindor! He's my ward! Not... Not Severus ', no offence Severus, but we all know how horrendous he is with children. Specially 

Harry. " she said briskly, clicking her tongue in disprove . The potion master gave in to his urge and finally rolled his eyes. 

Severus let his sneer fall in place as he applauded, all the heads turning in his direction as he clapped his hands mockingly. His face screwed up in an ugly sneer.

" bravo Minerva, an astounding act of loyalty and motherhood, what any lioness would do for her cub. Now let us all feel sorry for Potter once again, shall we? " the 

sneer deepened bitterly. " poor Potter feeling all sad and alone at his relatives, poor Potter feeling betrayed by his friends and mutt and let us all applaud for..."

" that is quite enough Severus. " Albus cut him off firmly. " you know better. " narrowing his eyes at the subtle warning, Snape backed off, leaning his head back on 

his chair once again. 

" of course headmaster. " he muttered blankly. The heads turned away, some shaking in disappointment and the others confused by Albus's last comment. 

" sleep in his dormitory? Albus you just said that he cannot be left alone! " poppy exclaimed, her eyes narrowing suspiciously at the old man. 

Severus smirked, clever matron. He mused. 

" we still don't know that Poppy, it might just be a misunderstanding for all we know. " Albus said in a fit of self denial and Severus couldn't help frowning. Albus 

was taking it too far, wasn't he the one so concerned about Potter's sanity just two days ago? Sighing soundlessly, he figured that the old man worked out his plans 

based on his own logic and there was no arguing with that. Trustworthy or not. 

" be that as it may Albus, you saw the child. He is grieving, leaving him alone now, is the worst thing we can possibly do. " she said gravely, shifting in her seat as the 

other teachers muttered uncomfortably. 

It was safe to say that all of them were beyond shocked at Harry's secret relationship with the perished Hufflepuff, they still couldn't believe that both boys, their 

students have been sneaking out together for almost a year without no one knowing, right under their noses, and it made it all the worse. To know it in those 

circumstances, over Diggory's dead corpse and Potter's hysterical figure. Minerva withheld a shiver. 

" we can't jump to conclusions now Poppy, the brat could be fine for all we know. " Snape waved his hand dismissively, ignoring the murderous glares pointed right 

at his face. 

Poppy frowned in disbelief, but yielded, tuning her head away from the headmaster with a dignified huff. 

" will he stay the whole summer? " Flitwick asked, his small hands curled around the steaming mug. 

Fawkes gave out a loud shrill as the old man shook his head once again. " No, that will be not be necessary, just until the headquarters are reformed. " the 

headmaster said thoughtfully, his intense gaze burning into Severus for what seemed like minutes. 

" reformed? Surely you aren't planning on getting Harry involved? " Minerva once again clicked her tongue in disprove, shaking her head firmly. All while 

repeating in her mind that Potter was way too young for a war. 

" I believe there is no other choice, Harry is already involved Minerva. " 

" you have gone barmy old man! Barmy I say! He is a mere child! " Minerva's calm facade ebbed away as she stood, her face painted in a furious frown. 

Severus smirked in the background, oh this was going on be good. He thought greedily as he crossed his arms over his cloak clad chest. 

" I beg to differ Minerva. With what Potter had witnessed last year, in all of his years at Hogwarts, the boy is a far cry from a child. You know that. " For once none of 

professors detected any signs of sneer or disprove in the potion master's serious drawl. 

Minerva's stricken face, turned slowly to face Snape, her hair falling out of her tight bun like a flailing whip as she shook her head in anger. 

" he is fifteen! " she yelled, looking at other professors for support. 

" she's right Albus, Harry is only fifteen. " Pomona said frowning, Poppy and Sinistra nodding along with her. 

" there is no other.... "

" this is not a child's war Albus! " Poppy cut in harshly. " do you even understand what are you suggesting?! You are holding a meeting with the staff, sharing your 

concern over Harry's mental stability and then you talk about involving him in a war as if talking about a rock! " she screeched, Minerva and the other females 

backing her up. 

Albus sighed warily. " ladies, I assure you, that there are reasons... "

" involving Potter in the old crowd means Weasley and Granger get involved too, and if those two find out then the whole castle will by mere seconds. " Severus 

finally barked, his voice cutting through the room's anxious whispering easily to the other side of the room. 

Just like a domino, he thought. Albus was mad if he thought the boy could be any use for the order. He sneered inwardly. 

Minerva huffed. " exactly. And I think Molly would highly disapprove of the trio's involvement in this matter. " she finished in triumph , her eyes burning fiercely 

in the headmaster's eyes. 

" Molly is not their mother Minerva. She's not Harry's or Hermione's legal guardian. " Flitwick put in, shrugging somewhat unhelpfully at her burning glare. 

" you wouldn't dare. " she growled quietly. Stalking to the headmaster's chair. She stood tall and proud, Poppy and Pomona behind her protectively. 

" Minerva, nothing is set on stone, it was just a suggestion. " Albus replied back in a calm tone, his gaze flickering once again to Severus's seemingly indifferent 

expression. His blue eyes twinkling madly behind those Crescent like glasses. 

" you better not Albus Percival Brian Dumbledore. Because the catastrophic consequences will solely rest on your shoulders, and you wouldn't like to have me 

against you headmaster. Not at all." she hissed in her usual bossy tone, before turning and leaving the staff room.

" wel' if that was it the'n. " Hagrid said angrily before storming off as well. The others mumbled uncomfortably, unable to choose a side in the matter. 

Severus sneered, sighing in disgust. Even the brat's teachers weren't all that supportive of him, and who could blame them? Potter was the boy who lived, the chosen 

one to save them all from a gruesome fate. As wrong and as twisted this belief was, sadly it was all the wizarding world had. Severus closed his eyes, waiting for the 

others to leave so he could talk to Albus privately. 

" it could've been worse. " the old man said morosely. 

Severus's eyes remained close. " it wouldn't have been, if you had told them the truth old man. " he said boldly, rolling his stiff neck. 

" I cannot. You know I can't Severus. " the man scolded him half-heartedly. Snape's eyes popped open, glaring at Albus, in disgusted anger, barely disguised in his 

eyes. 

" do you even know what are you doing?! Albus, from your descriptions the boy could be insane for all we know! " he snarled, his eyes blazing similar to Minerva's 

minutes ago. 

" He won't be Severus. I told you, it could all be a misunderstanding. Harry is a strong lad." 

Severus very much doubted that, but decided to keep his mouth shut. There was no point arguing with Albus when he was all like this. Exactly the expression he 

wore when he insisted that the Potter brat should return to his relatives. 

" Minerva was right Albus. " he said, calmly standing up and stalking past the curious man. 

" regarding what? " 

" you are really barmy. " he spat out bitterly as he slammed the door behind him, wearing a satisfied smirk as he walked down to the dungeons. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Harry James sighed, shrugging off his sweat drenched work shirt, pulling his over grown night shirt over his damp hair. 

" tough day? " the melodic voice asked, from his bed. Harry nodded tiredly. 

" they're just so mad at me for some reason, I cannot believe that there are still chores to do, with the amount I've been doing this summer. " he said, rolling his 

shoulders tiredly, he dragged his feet off to bed, dropping on the battered mattress unceremoniously. 

" you look like you need a good massage. " Cedric said softly from his side. 

" give me one? " Harry looked at him with hopeful eyes, his muscles agreeing whole heartedly with the suggestion. 

" it's late. Sleep. " 

" I've got cramps again. " Harry admitted painfully, unable to ignore the painful cramps in his stomach any farther. 

" they didn't let you eat today?! " Cedric asked incredulously, propping his body up by elbows. 

Harry nodded, clutching at his stomach. " it's been what? Two days now? " Harry flinched back, a flush of shame spreading on his cheeks. 

" that is just twisted and wrong. " Cedric said angrily, drawing the other boy closed protectively. 

Harry frowned. " that's not what I'm worried about, the cramps will dull over in a few hours. What I don't get is why, Cedric. " he muttered in the nape of Cedric's 

warm pulsing neck. 

" it's still wrong. " Cedric repeated, and Harry's mind reeled in shame as he bit his lip. Cedric didn't have to know about all this, about his burden. It would just worry 

him unnecessarily, Harry hated seeing the Hufflepuff so distressed. He was such a crappy boyfriend, he thought viciously. 

" it will pass. They're just cramps, I had them since I was a child. " when they starved me for days. Harry added in his mind. Cedric curled his lip at the nonchalant 

tone.

" don't downplay their treatment Harry! What they did is wrong! " but still my fault. Harry thought sadly. 

" don't worry about it so much, I must've done something freaky again. They'll calm down in a few days. " Harry didn't know who he was trying to reassure. Cedric 

or himself, this year there was no Weasley food to keep him alive when the Dursleys accidently forgot to feed him for a week. Harry couldn't even remember 

receiving a letter from his friends or godfather all summer. And If they forgot to feed him for a week, he'll probably just die. Harry shuddered, snuggling in Cedric's 

chest. 

" come on, lie down with me? " Cedric gently tugged at him, reclining them both on the bed slowly, careful with Harry's tender back, still a little raw from Vernon's 

last punishment. 

" I love you, you know that? " Harry mumbled in his shirt, the essence of Cedar filling his delusional mind. 

" he knew Harry. He really did. " Cedric whispered. But the other boy was far gone, claimed by the desperate clutches of sleep pulling him in. 

/Harry folded himself farther in Cedric's arms, deepening the kiss hungrily, slender fingers tousling his hair as the couple made their way to an empty classroom 

hurriedly. 

Cedric pulled Harry against the wall, leaning down to give the shorter teenager a passionate kiss, 

His arms trapping the boy , settling on either sides of Harry's shoulders, Harry smiled in their kiss, feeling light headed at the lack of oxygen as he pushed his mouth 

forcefully into Cedric, turning the kiss into a full snogging session. 

Cedric chuckled, clumsily hoisting Harry up on the desk, the back of his neck tickling as Harry's arms snaked around his sensitive and very ticklish skin. Both were 

in a desperate need of air but neither dared to pull away, since they knew the less they kissed the sooner they had to depart for classes, being separated for merlin 

knew how long. 

Just when Harry felt his lungs burning and his vision blurring the Hufflepuff pulled away. Harry whined pitifully, making a grab at the boy's tie to pull him closer 

for another kiss. 

" oh, wait! That's good. " he said breathlessly, as the Hufflepuff started trailing kisses down his earlobe, flutter kisses caressing his skin all the way down Harry's neck 

as the shorter boy pulled at Cedric's hair roughly. Harry pulled down the tie harder with his other hand.

" I like your scent. " Cedric breathed against his neck, Harry shuddered at the warm breath dusting his neck. 

" flattery will get you nowhere Diggory. " he rasped out as he started kissing the boy again, Cedric pulled away teasingly. 

" won't it? " he teased, leaned down and slowly, agonizingly and teasingly bit down on Harry's neck. 

" damn! " Harry hissed, exposing his neck farther to give the Hufflepuff better access to his flushed neck. 

Cedric chuckled again, as he sucked on the bite slowly. Harry tried, he really did, but even with his self resistance the boy couldn't help but moan out loud. A little 

too loudly. 

" does it now Potter? " Cedric asked, leaning down and kissing Harry on his swollen lips, Harry pulled the other boy closer, deepening the kiss before suddenly 

pulling away. 

" a far cry from it Diggory. " Harry breathed, fumbling with Cedric's tie hurriedly. Cedric batted his hands away but leant to complete his love bite on Harry's neck. 

" when you're older. " He growled possessively, biting down hard. Harry cursed out loud. 

" I'm old now! " he whined pathetically, rather frustrated at Cedric's goody two shoes and gentlemanly behavior. He pulled the older boy's neck, dragging the body 

up to kiss the boy's earlobe. 

" not old enough! " Cedric panted, snogging his boyfriend until they were both breathless once again. Harry pulled away, pulling out Cedric's wrist to gaze at his 

watch.

" damn! Only three minutes! " they both sprung back to action once again, kissing and snogging with newfound energy, both lungs almost collapsing and both 

hands roaming wildly. 

" don't go." Harry snarled as he pulled the breathless boy into another French kiss. 

" NEWTs " Cedric groaned, gasping at the lack of air. At this point Harry wondered if the suffocation would cause brain damage. 

" one minute! " Harry was unstoppable now, kissing and caressing everywhere and everything he could reach. Brain damage be damned, Harry needed the kiss 

right now. 

Cedric groaned but pulled away. " I have to go Har. " he rasped out, kissing Harry on the forehead. 

Harry frowned, his face falling. " we still have a minute. " hating how his tone was so pleading and desperate. Cedric kissed him again apologetically. 

" you know why I can't. NEWTs Harry. " he reminded the ravished boy, smiling as he saw a bruise already forming on his boyfriend's neck.

" NEWTs be damned you twit! " Harry huffed, still gasping to get enough air in his abused lungs. 

" my father certainly doesn't think so. " Cedric said, trying so hard not to jump at Harry again.

" your father is also a hypocrite prat Ced. No offence, but you know that. " Harry protested softly, leaning in to snuggle to the boy. 

" Sadly, I do know that. Do you have any other free periods today? "

Harry shook his head miserably. " no, today's Tuesday, I still have DADA and double potions. " he responded, smiling in amusement as Cedric winced. 

" bad luck love. " 

" shut up. " Harry swatted the boy on the hand, draining every bloody seconds that they had left. 

" tell Ron you won't be at your dormitory tonight. " Cedric said suddenly, grabbing his wand to clear up his rumpled clothes. 

Harry raised an eyebrow. " why Diggory, I thought you said, I have to be older for your special treatment." he said teasingly, his insides already squirming in 

excitement. 

" and you still have to wait, we're going on a date..... " Cedric trailed off, and suddenly slumped forward on the desk. Harry grabbed the boy, shuddering at how cold 

his skin was. He jumped off the desk, lowering Cedric with him slowly with his head in Harry's lap. 

" Cedric? Cedric?! Wake up. " he said, slapping the cheek softly. He shook the boy unaware that Cedric's skin was now taking a blue hue, Harry shook Cedric again.   
" Ced? You're freaking me out! I'm going to get Pomfrey, hang on okay?! " just as the frantic boy was about to stand a horrible screeching noise filled the room, 

Harry grabbed his ears, pressing down on the flesh savagely. He dropped down on the ground, his body curled up in repulse. 

" CEDRIC! CEDRIC! CERDIC WAKE UP! PLEASE WAKE UP! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! " the screams never died, turning into loud heart breaking sobs, Harry 

screamed, trying to tune out the horrible voice. Harry hated the voice instantly, the voice made his chest tight and his breathing short, he knew the voice and he 

didn't like it at all. 

Windows shattered as the voice got louder, racking the room with its screeching voice. 

" RON! RON! TELL HIM TO WAKE UP! PLEASE! IT'S A DREAM! " 

Ron? Where was Ron? Harry opened his eyes with difficulty, eyes roaming the room to find his red haired friend. But there was no one in the room. They were 

alone. 

Harry gave out a terrified sob, turning to Cedric once again, his eyes darting around in fright. His heart nearly giving out as he saw Cedric laying there, the smell of 

rotten corpse, the heavy smell of death and blood filled the room. Harry watched with horrified realization as Cedric's soft creamy skin sunk in, bugs crawling 

around out of everywhere. Harry chocked, shaking his head frantically. 

" HELP! " he screeched, not wanting to look at Cedric wasting away before his eyes, but still unable to look away. 

The screams continued, racking him as he tried to tune everything out. Harry shuddered, he fell on his knees and threw up, gagging like there was no tomorrow.   
The repulsive smell surrendered him, curling around him like velvet. Harry's dried heaves soon turned into gags again, as Harry threw up something thick and 

metallic. He didn't dare open his eyes, he knew what it was from the smell already. Harry spat, the remaining blood dripping down his chin.   
He rocked back and forth, his eyes glued to Cedric's, his head sizzled in pain as memories pushed their way into his mind forcefully, causing him to throw up again. 

" Such a handsome boy. " the smell of corpse hit him hard in the face. 

" Don't touch him!!! " 

' what? Am I not good enough for your handsome face Diggory? ' 

' you're too much for me, I don't want to ruin this for you, for us, you deserve better, when you're older. ' Harry melted in the kiss.

' you think Diggory's.... I don't know... Good looking? ' 

Ron chocked on his food. ' what brought this on?! ' 

Harry shrugged. ' just an observation. ' 

Harry retched again, the screaming muffling his own painful sobs. \

Harry was brought awake by a meaty hand slapping him over and over, titling his head to each side forcefully. The teen's eyes snapped open, unconsciously aware 

of the horrible stomach cramps and the headache racking his brain like a hammer.

Vernon slapped him once again. His other hand pushing down on his neck, choking him. 

" YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF FILTH! YOU BRAT RUINING OUR LIVES, WE PUT FOOD IN YOUR UNGRATEFUL MOUTH, CLOTHED YOU, TOOK 

YOU IN BY THE KINDESS IN OUR HEARTS! AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY US FREAK?! " Vernon's face took a dark shade of purple, his vain ready to pop 

out of anger. But Harry didn't care, he tuned the angry man out and turned his head to the side. Catching Cedric's extremely sad ones as the boy stood near his bed.

" you're not here. " he whispered, his voice broken and hoarse. 

" I'm not. " Cedric replied, kneeling in front of the bed, his ghost like hand caressing Harry's cheek sadly.

" you're not Cedric ." blows landed on him painfully, every single limb burned in pain as Vernon landed his belt on him. Harry couldn't care less, he did not even 

flinch as the belt found its way on his face, his eyes were set on Cedric, dull and realizing. 

" he's gone. " he muttered, big droplet of tears escape through his closed eyelids. The nausea returned, and Harry retched , the blood flowing out of his mouth like 

water, staining his shirt, bed and Vernon's belt crimson. 

And Harry couldn't care less if he died. Cedric was /gone/. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron rounded his mother, Hermione blocking the door as he did.

" what's happening? " Ron asked his mother, his eyes narrowing as Molly looked away sadly. 

" nothing that concerns you children. " 

" something happened Mrs. Weasley. Is it about Harry? " Hermione asked, flicking her wand behind her back to put a silencing charm around the kitchen. 

" no Hermione dear, we just received some bad news about the order. That's all." Molly said kindly, walking casually to open the door. 

Hermione blocked her path again. " you're lying. " Molly stood there, surprised at Hermione 's boldness and sudden lack of politeness and respect. 

" I am not! Now to bed with you two! " Molly huffed, ushering the two out of the room.

" you know something mom, you have to tell us. " 

" I don't have to do anything Ronald Weasley, now out of my way and to bed! " Molly shrieked, still surprised that no one had heard them yet. The two teenagers 

gazed back, seemingly unfazed. 

" we have other ways of knowing Mrs. Weasley. But we need to know the reason now. " 

" why do you even think something did happen?! The meeting wasn't even about Harry! " Molly looked at them, her tone demanding and hard. 

Ron caught Hermione's eyes, both eyes wide in realization. " they don't know! " Ron exclaimed silently. 

" know what? Ron?! " Molly asked exasperated , her tone frustrated and worried at the same time. Ron worried his lip and walked to Hermione. 

" no one reported anything about Harry tonight? Not at all? " Hermione asked in a frantic tone, her heart beating wildly in her chest. 

" why would they? Ronald Weasley, what is going on here?! " 

" Mom, Harry. He's in danger. " Ron said gravely as Hermione raced to open the door. Just as the Weasley matriarch was about to open her mouth the floo flared, 

Severus's face uncharacteristically frantic in the flames. 

" Molly? Is that you? " he asked, turning his head out of the fire. 

" what is it Severus? " Molly kneeled in front of the floo, not noticing as the bushy haired girl ran out of the room and started shouting.

" gather everyone. There's an emergency in privet drive. " Molly felt her stomach sink. 

" what is it?! " she asked, her parent instincts kicking in as unholy scenarios ran in her head.

" just gather everyone in Albus's office Molly! " Molly could only seat there in shock as Hermione yelled loudly for the order members and Ron tried to shut the 

portrait up.

" SIRIUS! REMUS! WE NEED ALL THE ORDER MEMBERS! "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> liked it? tell me please i would really like to know, please kudus and review. and still looking for a beta, so contact me if interested. 
> 
> hugs and kisses ;)
> 
> Aixxx


	6. 6. Violent ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a sneak into Harry and Ced's second date.
> 
> how do Ron and Hermione know, and why?
> 
> Harry forgets...again. the order is there and wards have fallen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need a beta. i really do. this story is pre written up to chapter twenty but it's not proof read. at all. my English isn't that atrocious but since i type fast the number of my typos are seriously rising, and i am way too embarrassed to go through them on my own. this is a beta plea everyone! 
> 
> please! if you're interested in beta'ing my story, contact me on potions and snitches, fanfiction.net or leave a review at OV3, i have no idea if this site has private massaging or not so pardon me if i have missed any or will miss any in the future (^-^) . thank you!
> 
> thank you for all the reviews, kudos, and shadow readers who just pass away without reviewing or leaving a mrak ;) i love ya all, and you make my ordinary life much more brighter, so please keep them coming and i promise fast updates ;)
> 
> some plot points are in this chapter, pay attention!

Chapter six ; violent ends 

 

I said ; I love you like the stars above, I'll love you till I die   
When are you going to realize, it was just the time was wrong.

_Romeo & Juliet, dire straits 

XXXXXXXXXXXX

 

/ " are you free tonight? " The grey eyed boy asked, leaning down to kiss Harry on the top of his messy head. 

" yeah why? " Harry replied distantly, concentrated on his charms homework  
.   
" I'm taking you out tonight. " the hufflepuff said proudly, flashing a goofy smile. Harry set his quill down his homework, turning his head to meet the smug boy. 

" oh? " amusement shined in those green emerald eyes. 

" oh indeed Mr. Potter, and if I were one certain Gryffindor, I would make sure to pack my * special * cloak too. " he said non so subtly at all as he leaned in for a 

kiss. Harry leaned away, blushing. 

" we're in the library you idiot! " he hissed, but was still smiling, all of the lingering signs of distress was erased off Harry's blank face, now flushing crimson as the 

other boy grabbed his hand under the table. 

Cedric shrugged. " it's midnight. " he pointed out. 

" why can't we just tell them? " Cedric asked, sighing, trying not to sound hurt or offended by Harry's insistence on the matter. 

Harry sighed. " Ron and Hermione already know. " he said defensively, his brows frowning slightly. 

" you know what I mean. " 

" so do you. I'm sorry Cedric, but... With me being the boy who lived and you already entering your name in the cup... People talk. " he shifted, brushing off Cedric's 

hand and ruffling his own messy hair. 

" that's what people do, do you really care that much of what others think of you? " Harry glared openly, his eyes glaring daggers at Diggory. 

" yes, I care. Do you have a problem with that? Mr. Goody two shoes who, grants every wish that daddy dear has for you ?! " 

" now that was just harsh Harry. Damn, listen.. I didn't want to say it like this, I'm sorry alright?! I just wanted to take you somewhere special. " he stammered, 

suddenly not sure if this was a good idea at all. 

Harry's eyes softened, his stiff shoulder slumping slowly. " I'm sorry too, that was really uncalled for. " 

Cedric glared mockingly but leant and gave the kiss anyway. Harry hummed happily, melting in the kiss, it was too late to sound his earlier protests anyway, besides as 

Cedric pointed out, it was midnight and Madam Pince had long gone before then. 

" so, you coming or what? " 

" where are we going? " 

Cedric reclined his head, putting his chin on his outstretched palm on the desk. 

" that's a surprise now. " Harry arched his brow, leaning back in his library chair.

" you're gonna take me out after midnight, hours after curfew, to God knows where with my invisibility cloak? My, my, Diggory when did you get so...rebellious? " 

Harry practically purred, before leaning in to peck his boyfriend tenderly. 

" the moment you pushed me down the stairs probably. " Cedric replied playfully. His face blank and serious.

Harry pulled back, scoffing half-heartedly. " you're never gonna let me forget that, are you?! "

" well, I did get a concussion. " he winced, rubbing the supposed sore bump on his head. Smiling like a Cheshire cat the raven haired boy, crossed his arms over his 

chest, the look of absolute love and compassion momentarily replaced with sorrow, disappearing before the hufflepuff could even comprehend the sudden emotion 

flickering in his eyes. 

The air cackled around them, the smell of rust and moth eaten books filling their nostrils, and the flickering candlelight illuminating the other's face, Cedric tried 

really hard not to eat those pouty lips that Harry was putting on his face along with the whining expression. 

" does this... Date, involve eating? " Harry asked teasingly, not having eaten anything since lunch. Which was quite a surprise by itself since Cedric never let Harry 

skip meals, subtly of course. But still. 

" it could. " Cedric tapped his chin, pretending to consider. 

" chocolate? " Harry chirped, jumping off his chair and picking the heavy stack of books in both hands. Cedric also stood, admiring the scrawny boy inwardly for 

handling such a weight with ease. Diggory alway loved this trait about Potter since his sixth year, the boy's independent and stubborn personality mingled with his 

rather rare vulnerable and fragile outbursts made him an unpredictable and interesting person. The one Cedric has taken a liking too really quickly. 

He smirked and walked off after Harry, grabbing some of the books and placing them in the higher shelves. 

" so.... I go to the Gryffindor tower to get the cloak for our little...rendezvous, and you get the food? " Harry tried to sound nonchalant as he grabbed his bag off the 

ground. But he was all jittery and jelly like in the inside, this was their second date, and as much as it shamed Harry to even think about it, he could actually feel his 

knees giving away at the thought of he and Cedric alone, possibly in a secured place. They were going on a date. He and Diggory, the block he had crushed on since 

he was thirteen. Suddenly the second date made his relationship with Cedric too real, it made it believable to him. And he hated feeling like that.

Stop being such a girl. He scolded himself, remembering to keep his breathing and walking under control. A date. He hummed happily at the thought. The concept 

analysing in his mind too late for him to keep a straight face. 

" you ok?" Cedric asked, eyeing the wobbling and giddy looking boy. Harry gave a startled jump, an embarrassing squeak living his lips, before he could clasp them 

together. 

" yeah. " he hated how breathy and desperate that sounded. Get a grip! He thought furiously. You killed a basilisk for merlin's sake! 

" Harry? The cloak. " Cedric said amused by the younger teen's sudden anxiety. 

" oh. " the boy flushed, rushing past the hufflepuff without another word and out of the library, berating himself all the while he climbed the Gryffindor tower.   
Stop acting like a dork, he thought to himself. It's just a date. What could possibly go wrong? Well plenty of things could go wrong actually, Harry rambled in his 

mind mindlessly, rampaging his trunk for the said cloak. 

Now where is that stupid thing? He thought angrily, tossing his overgrown clothes out of the worn out trunk frustratingly. He froze. Should he change his clothes? 

He wondered suddenly. He was wearing his school robes, and Dudley's overgrown shirt underneath it. The tedious yellow one, which Harry despised, but just had 

put on hurriedly that morning. 

He couldn't go on a date dressed like that! He was horrified. What he should he wear?! He had nothing! All were torn or scuffed or something! Harry had worn 

Ron's maroon sweatshirt and a simple black shirt he had on their first date. The only fitting shirt he owned. The one Hermione gave him for his birthday, the same 

that was currently in the laundry. 

But he didn't have that now. Harry worried his lip, pondering if he should wake Ron to see if he had any clean clothes. But they're all hand me down too, and while 

they were neat and kept, they were obvious on Harry, Ron was like twice his size and at least four inches taller than him. He swore.  
Harry grasped the cloak, before turning to the other boys. Should he really wake them? This sounded critical, but Cedric was waiting for him, so he couldn't really 

linger that long. 

Would he be disgusted by Harry? By how freaky he looked in rags? Or by how much he was worrying over his outfit like a girl? Harry could've doubled over in 

horror. Merlin, he was screwed. 

He made his way to Ron's bed swiftly, pulling the curtains aside slightly to slip on his friend's bed.   
Ronald Weasley's claim of never snoring at nights would've been put down to shame as he lied on his stomach, each hand dangling off, snoring like an old man. 

Harry would've found it hilarious any other day.

" Ron?! Ron?! " he hissed, shaking his friend by the shoulder lightly. Cedric would probably have a good laugh downstairs if he knew what was taking Harry this 

long to come back down. 

Ron stirred, a line of drool dripping down his chin while he snorted. 

" Ron! " he called louder, slapping him out of anxiety and stress. Ron gasped, his eyes snapping open. Glaring at Harry right away.

" seriously?! It's three am dude! Get a grip! " he rambled, pushing Harry off his bed and pulling his pillow over his head. 

" Ron, it's an emergency! " he gritted out, his teeth grinding loudly together. 

Ron's head peered from the pillow, eyeing the cloak classed in Harry's hand skeptically. 

" is it a three headed dog? Or a basilisk maybe? " he asked sardonically, still pissed at being shocked awake. 

Harry swatted the boy with a loud humph. " no you git! Do you have any clothes? " 

" what?! " Ron's eyes looked ready to pop out of their sockets, looking at Harry as if he was mad.

" clothes Ron! Material, silk, cotton, a shirt... Anything?! Do you have any? " he was seething, Cedric would probably ditch him seeing as he was lingering this much.   
" what? " Ron shook his head, his mouth hanging half open, the line of drool annoyingly, still dangling from his chin.

" Don't be stupid Ron! Cedric is waiting downstairs! I need clothes now! " 

" oh. Cedric? " realization dawned on him as he inspected Harry again. 

" what kind of clothes? " Harry sighed in relief, he seemed more lucid now. 

" a clean shirt, one that fits me, you know... Presentable. "

" what about the black one Mione gave you? " 

" laundry. " and I wore that last time. Cedric was bound to notice him wearing the same shirt. He thought to himself. Ron huffed, closing his eyes in irritation. 

" you are so lucky to have me you know that Potter ? " he said slowly, opening his eyes to glare at Potter. 

"No one would rampage a whole wardrobe for his best friend at two bloody am in the morning. " Ron grumbled, shrugging off his heavy quilt. Harry breathed out 

in relief. Following the grunting boy. 

He could literally kiss Ron as he pulled out a dark blue long sleeved shirt after some looking, a clean one and the least worn, grumbling sleepily all while. Harry 

settled on helping the boy back to his bed, thanking him in whispers all while, as he tucked the boy in. 

" you're the best Ron. " he said fleetingly, before running down stairs, pulling his tedious shirt over his head, the frantic boy fell nearly twice as he put the long sleeved 

on, admiring the cotton against his chilly skin.

He cursed in his head, Cedric was going to laugh his ass off, if he knew what Harry was exactly doing in the dormitory, he had at least spent five minutes up there! 

Where was the cool attitude he was pulling off in the library?! Get back in the flirting mode! He thought frantically as he ran his finger through his hair, trying to 

tame it down. Unsuccessfully. 

He practically tore his way to the portrait's entrance with the cloak dragging behind him swiftly as he moved. 

" hey. " he panted, waving at the waiting boy dumbly. Cedric smiled widely, eyes roaming Harry's trembling figure with an amused glint. 

" I thought you fell asleep. " he said, walking closed to take the cloak. 

" uh...well... Um... The cloak was...missing? " he stuttered, a slight blush forming on his neck as Cedric's hand brushed again his. Even After a whole moths of having 

a relationship with the hufflepuff, he felt occasionally self conscious at times, wondering how a handsome boy like Cedric wanted to be with him. You were fine in 

the library, his mind grumbled as the two took off under the cloak. 

" why so self conscious? " Cedric asked softly, his hand clasping around Harry's smaller one. 

" self conscious? " Harry cursed inwardly. Was he being that obvious. If merlin, he was losing his touch. 

" yeah, you know you're good looking right? " Harry gulped, bobbing his head as they took an unfamiliar turn. 

" where are we going exactly? And where's my food? " he took the stubborn approach to hide his super blushing face from the eluding boy. 

Cedric's chuckle, was like shiver down his spine, the warm breath tickling his neck as his hair shifted. 

" don't worry, I have your meal in my pocket. Fully shrinked. " by his tone, Harry could tell that he was smirking in the dark. 

" so...where are you taking me Diggory? " he sounded sheepish, any doubtful thoughts about Cedric pushing him away forcing their way out of his mind. 

" astronomy tower, I need to show you something. " the two boys hurried their way up the spiral set of stairs, both lightly heaving when they reached the top. 

" we'll be so screwed if Filch finds us. " Harry commented at they settled on the edge, the cloak covering their shoulders. Well, Cedric's shoulders since the boy was 

way taller than him.

" you think he can actually climb up here?! Besides I'm head boy. " he smiled dashingly, stretching his hand above his head. 

" head boy or not Diggory, it's two in the morning, even you have no job in the astronomy tower. " Harry was very proud of his unwavering voice, he turned and 

surged into the older boy, kissing passionately, waiting for Cedric to kiss back. Cedric smirked, the food he was about to unshrink completely forgotten as he 

returned the kiss, both melting in the blissful sense of peace and freedom. 

" why, you, take, me, here? " Harry said between gasps, locking his lips on Cedric's again. His hands grabbed Cedric's by the elbows, steadying both as they were 

dangerously at the edge. Cedric smiled, his lips drawing into another kiss, whisking Harry away, with his breath caught in his throat.  
" see. " he whispered huskily, turning Harry's face to the glittering sky. Harry watched curiously for something to happen as Cedric started trailing kisses down his 

neck. Harry blushed heavily, but didn't turn his head back as he watched the sky. The kiss came down with more force, and Harry literally had to grit his teeth to 

hold the moans as quiet as possible. His head dutifully remained towards the black sky above.

Shiny silver arrows cascaded in the sky gracefully. Harry felt his mouth falling open in wonder, he felt like the sky above was moving. The stars lightened a flutter in 

his heart, his eyes shinning in wonder, he panted, both from the pleasure and the awe. He was not really a fan of nights. They held bitter memories, and nightmares 

he tried really hard to forget, nights were always dark and gloomy in his eyes. But this... He was speechless, the sky was raging above him, the meteors danced and 

rushed in and out of sight, taking Harry fully by surprise. He had never seen a sight as beautiful as this. Never in his astronomy class, never in the Gryffindor tower, 

and never in his tiny little cupboard under the stairs where he sat and despised nights all night long.

How could he despise something so beautiful? He thought, still in awe as he saw the stars shower above them. The fluttering tingled it's way down his ribs, brushing 

against his skin faithfully, before Harry could realize they were Cedric's hands. Tears glazed over his eyes at the magnification folding open above.  
He remembered the nights, sitting in his cupboard as quietly as he could, shivering in the harsh cold nights as he wondered where did his life went wrong. He used to 

despise nights, because he never felt so alone, so cold and scared and vulnerable as he did then. 

But this... Harry's mouth was still open, eyes wide with awe and wonder, just like a child. Suddenly Harry felt so alone, so scared again, and only then he noticed 

something chilly clasping around his neck as Cedric's warm mouth was still near his earlobe. 

" magical, isn't it? " he drawled, his long slender fingers still hanging on the necklace around Harry's neck.   
Harry's head, shot toward him like s doe caught in light, his mouth open and his eyes wide and glazed over with tears. 

" I....I...how? " he asked, turning his head to watch the sky above, blinking owlishly at the tiny little silver tears dashing through the sky.   
" I have a lunar calender, totally saw it by surprise. Have you never seen a meteor Rain?" he asked curiously, slightly awed by Harry's open and innocent expression. 

So young and vulnerable, so... Beautiful. 

Ignoring the questions, Harry's hand flied to his neck, fingering the necklace. " what's this? " he asked, slowly lowering his head to gaze at the necklace. It looked like 

a golden time Turner but without the tiny hourglass, there laid in the middle of the rings a sitting badger. The necklace shinning gold under the moon's illuminating 

light. 

" what is this for? " he asked, his voice breathy and void.   
Cedric smiled. " do we really need an occasion for a gift? "

" flattery will get you nowhere Diggory. " Harry muttered before leaning up and kissing the boy. The sweet taste of Cedric's mouth clashed with the boy's sharp cedar 

aroma. Making Harry dizzy and lightheaded with both pleasure and bliss. 

Harry pulled away, gasping for breath gently, he felt his eyes drooping and his hold on the older boy's shirt slacking.   
" Got it in Hogsmeade last week, it just reminded me so much of you, so...complicated, and yet.... " beautiful. He finished in his mind as he leant for another kiss.   
Harry smiled tiredly, his fingers caressing the badger softly. " thank you. " he breathed.

He closed his eyes and met Cedric's lips halfway, the boys sharing the final kiss for the night as the sky showered them with tiny silver stars. / 

 

The first thing Harry was aware of, was the painful lurching in his belly, the painful cramps indicating that he hadn't eaten for quite a while, the second thing he was 

aware of was the anxious whispers above his head. Voices so familiar and yet so far away. Harry didn't care anyway, he was having a good dream, he really didn't 

want to wake up, Cedric's addicting sweet taste was still lingering in his mouth, the Cedar smell and God.... His hands. If every dream Harry had was like that, then 

he never wanted to wake up. 

The voices got closer, and louder. Voices that annoyed Harry to no end. Maybe if he just pretend to sleep he would get back in the dream?   
He tried to test the theory by clamping his eyes shutter, his eyes wrinkling with the force. But alas, it seemed too late for that, as Harry's senses reigned. He felt the 

scratchy uncomfortable bed he was lying on and the annoying light thingy directly above his eyes, and his stomach. Oh merlin, he had never been in this much 

pain! He wanted to double over, to clutch at his hips and moan in pain, but he feared that he'd hurt himself farther by doing so. 

He's breath quickened. He needed out, he had to open his eyes, he needed comfort. He was certainly back in privet drive. But then, where was Cedric? The other boy 

normally served as Harry's pillow, his solid warm chest and his long arms locking around Harry. Safe and sound. Where was he? Harry wondered groggily.   
He peeled his eyes open, flinching at the intense light, shining right in his eyes. 

" sorry dear. " a woman's voice apologized. He knew the voice, but he knew for a fact that the voice should not be there at privet drive. Harry shook his head, his 

hand slowly traveling up to his neck to grab at his necklace for comfort. Only to find it gone. 

Harry's eyes snapped open, he sat up on his bed in shock, too shocked to even wince at his wounds reopening. His hand glided over his shirt, where was it? He 

thought in a panic. He trashed when four set of hands grabbed him by the shoulder, lowering him down slowly.   
" where is it? Where is it? " he asked, blinking rapidly to clear up the blurry faces above him. 

" shh, there Mr. Potter. Just relax, you'll be alright. " Madam Pomfrey's voice broke into his panic, but did not calm him at all. 

" No, where is it?! " he asked, fumbling to pick his glasses from his night stand. The sound of his blood rushing in his ears muffling the others talking. He felt a pair of 

wrinkled hands setting his glasses on his face, his suspicious only confirmed as he saw Albus Dumbledore's face looking down at him in concern. 

" Harry? " 

" where is it? " Harry asked, trying to get up again. What the hell where they doing in his room in the middle of the night? Uncle Vernon would kill him! And where 

was Cedric? Harry resisted his drooping eyes, in front of the two, as they watched him with concern and... Pity? 

" where is what Harry? " Albus asked kindly, Harry looked at him with his mouth agape. What were these people doing here in his room in the middle of the night? 

Did Vernon know? 

The anxious boy felt his eyes dart to the other side of the room, where some other people he didn't know stood there self-consciously and uncomfortable.   
" what..... Who are you? " he stammered, backing away against his wall, the thought if the necklace still prodding his mind , with his hand fumbling under the covers 

to find his wand. 

Madam Pomfrey clicked her tongue. " honestly Potter! You are injured! Lie back down! " the matron said with her hands on her hips.   
Harry could only shake his head, terrified by the unfamiliar presence in his room. What was going on here? What was Dumbledore and a matron doing in his 

room? Was he hallucinating? Harry's eyes gazed into Dumbledore, no, the man seemed solid and pretty much alive. Then what where they doing here. Another 

thought crossed his frantic mind ; What if they weren't who they claimed they are? Poly juice potion? Imposters? Imperious? Harry gulped, drawing his wand subtly 

from under his pillow.

" Now there Potter, no need for that is there? " a middle aged man asked, he was stocky and little chubby, with stripped grey robes and a night hat on his head. Only 

then Harry noticed the three other humans in his room, a lanky old woman with a young short red haired man in his twenties. Charlie Weasley. Harry thought. 

He shook his head frantically, swallowing down the bile of vomit in his throat. " g...get...away! " he yelled, pointing his wand at the wizard. The witch smiled slowly. 

" Mr. Potter we are order members, no need to fret now. " she said, her kind grandmotherly smile almost catching him off guard. Harry had no idea what the hell the 

woman was talking about, the thought should've comforted him. Perhaps that's what she had intended, Harry didn't know, nor he cared. 

" what are you doing in my room? " he asked in a firm voice finally getting himself back together, the wand pointed at the wizards threateningly. 

" my boy it's alright. We're here to take you to a safe house. " Albus explained as gently as he could, his hands drawn up in surrender.

" in the middle of the night? " Harry gritted through his teeth, with the adrenaline wearing off, the cramps were back with more force. Making the boy want to retch 

his guts out in front of the wizards. 

" your...uncle's treatment of you has come into light only this evening Harry. We needed to get you out." the headmaster said sadly, Harry's eyes flashed, his uncle's 

treatment of him? What? Harry most certainly did not remember notifying anyone, least of all Dumbledore about his relatives. Uncle Vernon wasn't even home 

today, or was he? Harry couldn't remember quite clearly. 

" treatment? " he repeated carefully, emerald green eyes hard and set on the headmaster with his wand trained on the three other 'members '. 

" Harry, why didn't you tell us mate? " Charlie said, looking clearly upset by Harry's appearances. Harry shook his head again. 

" tell you...? What is going on here? " he demanded, his face turned to Poppy who was still trying to get him to lie down. 

" your uncle has abused you Potter, one of our guards took notice and alerted the order. Now lie back down young man!" Harry understood nothing. He felt like the 

matron was talking in a foreign language, guards? The order? Abused? 

" we explain everything later, now why don't you lie down? " Albus said, clearly nothing the lost look on the teenager's face.

" why? Injured? " only then the young man noticed the familiar burn on his face and arms, he brought his hand up, his fingers hovering inches from the angry red 

welts lined on his face. When did this happen? He wondered vaguely. They felt fresh, but Vernon was not home today, he had a meeting with a client, didn't he? It 

was Monday, Harry was sure of it.

" what's the date? " the question came out of nowhere. Taking everyone in the room by surprise, most of all Albus who already feared the boy's sanity.  
Charlie chuckled nervously. " uh...July the twelfth? Monday? " he rubbed his neck, wondering what was wrong with his brother's best friend, beside the obvious of 

course.

" oh." Harry rasped out. He wasn't missing days then. It might have been hours, even minutes were enough for enough for someone like uncle Vernon, he thought 

with a rolling set of eyes.

" um... Harry? " Charlie called, his eyes nervously catching the headmaster's eyes. This Potter was certainly not the blushing shy one at the borrow last summer.  
" Charlie. So where are going then? " he asked Dumbledore, ignoring strangers shifting uncomfortably by his desk. 

" a safe house, but alas for only tonight it seems. Tomorrow morning you will move to Hogwarts. "

" but first lie down Mr. Potter, I swear... " poppy was brushed off by Harry still looking at the headmaster with a blank face. 

" never mind that, Hogwarts? " Harry waved the matron off. She bustled indignantly. 

" but I thought no student can stay over the summer? " he questioned. 

" you were right, but you mustn't worry about that Harry. It's all taken care of. " Harry watched the the group closely, his eyes pondering each person carefully.

" now let's take care of that nasty welt shall we? " 

" where are the Dursleys now ? " Harry ignored the headmaster, the feeling of self loath and despise just pumped in his veins as he looked at the man for some 

reason.   
" downstairs being watched. " the chubby wizard answered instead of the headmaster. Harry never took notice of how just familiar he looked. Where was Cedric 

anyway? He thought hastily. The last time he had seen him they were snogging on Harry's bed, before Harry supposedly went to sleep. Now where was the 

hufflepuff? 

" Mr. Potter I really insist that you lie down." Poppy said, annoyed and a little frustrated at the careless young man who didn't even seemed to be in pain.   
" No, I'm fine. We're going now? " his tone was tinged with slight fear. What about Cedric, was he coming too? The others hadn't mentioned anything about Diggory 

yet, and did not indicate any signs of mentioning him either. 

" yes, but I really insist about the welts and other injuries Harry. You really need to be checked. " 

Harry sighed. " she can check me when we arrived at the safe house, my trunk is in the cupboard under the stairs... " he let the mediwitch lower his body back on the 

tattered bed, waving her hand above his head as he listened to the others bustling downstairs, Albus had walked to the window, watching the street between the bars 

installed firmly on Harry's window frame.

" oh my! You poor child, what has those savages done to you? " Harry heard the matron mutter under her breath as the diagnosis charm scribbled down a thick roll 

of parchment with a quick quill.

Harry turned his head, he really hated that quill. 

He closed his eyes, straining his ears to hear the conversation downstairs clearly, his lips clamped together in concentration.   
" they're arguing about you. " Harry's eyes snapped open, staring at Cedric walking behind the head master with ease, flashing his usual smile.

" Mr. Potter? " Pomfrey asked, following Harry's eyes. Harry hummed shaking his head. 

" just looking away I suppose. " he answered the unasked question, turning his face to stare at the ceiling. 

" they don't believe you. " Cedric said, sitting next to Harry's legs on the bed. 

" I have to ask Severus for some bruise balm and some for the scarring. " the mediwitch mumbled to herself, ignoring Albus who was watching with thoughtful eyes 

completely. 

Snape. Harry made a face, closing his eyes again. 

" well, at least he can't poison you with a balm. " Cedric said, watching Dumbledore with accusing eyes. 

Harry almost opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again, before faking a yawn. No one could know, he couldn't tell anyone about this. He'll have a talk with Ced 

later, but right now, he just had to play along. Something was not right, there has to be a reason that why no one else saw his boyfriend right in front of them. Play it 

cool. He thought desperately. 

" are you alright there dear? " 

" is it finished? " he opened his eyes, ignoring Cedric's playful tug at his leg. Poppy put her wand away hesitantly, looking as if she was in great pain while doing so. 

" well, I'm not satisfied with the results, but they are not life threatening, and seeing as you will be at Hogwarts by tomorrow anyway, I see no reason to preform a 

complete diagnosis charm. " she said regretfully, Harry nodded, not feeling up to replying. 

" we have everything. " the woman by the door said sternly. 

" not everything. " Cedric reminded Harry who shook his head, sitting on his bed. 

" not everything. " Harry repeated before stumbling his way to his desk, opening the drawers clumsily, his stomach was burning now, and,Harry had the urge to just 

drop and curl there right on the ground. 

" where is it? " he mumbled, relishing Cedric's comforting presence behind him. 

" the second drawer love. " Cedric reminded him, his grey eyes stormy with concern. " are you alright? " 

Harry ignored the question, pulling out the said drawer harshly. " not here. " he hissed quietly, not noticing Dumbledore and Weasley watching him with concern 

while the others just shifted tensely. 

" under the books. " Cedric instructed, his hand brushing against Harry's hunched shoulders. Literally throwing the books out of the drawer Harry pulled out a thick 

envelope, knowing full well, what was inside. 

He turned and walked to his bed, the tense lanky woman scrambling out of his way as he kneeled.  
He looped his finger under the floorboard, lifting the board with a low cringe. His frown easing somewhat as the familiar cloak came into the view, Harry dropped 

the envelope on the ground before reaching down and picking up his cloak and photo album, another stack of letters bound tightly by a band came out next lying 

next to the cloak. Finally Harry reached down, his knuckles scrapping against the harsh wood as he dug out the chocolate box. Instead of setting it away, Harry 

opened the box, his fingers snatching the golden necklace out of the box, he brought it up and clasped it around his neck. A weird sense of calm settling on him.

" as beautiful as ever. " 

" flattery will get you nowhere. " he muttered quietly, as if to himself and stood up, the items bundled in his arms protectively.

" don't talk back Harry, they're watching you. " Cedric warned, glaring at the two foreign members of the group, Harry breathed in response eyeing the two with 

distrust. 

" I'm ready. " he stated the obvious, grabbing his wand before slipping it into his waistband. Charlie, the most uncomfortable cleared his throat before taking the 

bundle from Harry with care, shrinking them swiftly. 

" we found no broom. " 

" deceased. " Harry mumbled, taking Hedwig's cage and holding it out to Charlie. The owl was back at Hogwarts, or with Hermione probably, he didn't remember 

seeing the bird at all this summer.

Albus frowned but did not investigate farther as he ushered Harry out of the room and down the stairs gently. 

" Do not worry about the Dursleys at all Harry, they will be dealt with in the right time, this matter will not go unseen. " he tried to reassure the stoic boy, but Harry 

didn't even seem to be listening, staring off ahead with distant eyes.

" he's telling the truth you know. He loves you, he just made a mistake." Cedric soothed him, a guiding hand on Harry's shoulder as they trudged down the stairs.   
Mistake his ass. My childhood was ruined because of that man. Another wave of pain washed down on him agonizingly.   
Harry clenched his hands in fists painfully. He needed to eat something. Now, before he vomited blood again. 

" ask Charlie, he has chocolate. " Cedric said. Harry stopped abruptly, almost causing the two wizards behind him crash down the stairs. 

" um...Charlie? Do you have anything sweet maybe? I'm a little peckish. " he lied sheepishly, with a blank mask on. Poppy and the lanky woman passed by him with 

the other wizard carrying his trunk. 

Albus paused and smiled before passing Harry, with a hand squeezing his shoulder, a ghost caress on Cedric's comforting rubbing. 

Charlie grinned, tucking his hand deep in his pocket. " sure bro. Here you go. You like chocolate frogs? " 

" my favorite. " he mumbled before turning and walking down the last few steps.

" you meant my favorite? You don't like chocolate frogs that much. " Cedric put in, raising his eyebrow at Charlie's wary glances. 

" not even out of the house, and he thinks you're crazy. " he commented. Harry ignored the talkative boy, munching on his treat slowly so he won't puck. 

" ah, Harry! Do you want to say goodbye to your relatives? I'd reckon it'd be while before you see them again." Albus said jovially, his damn eyes twinkling madly, 

Harry felt like crumpling his Dumbledore card in his hand, he slowly nodded his head, walking to the kitchen with his eyes half closed in pain. 

" goodbye? Vernon just beat you with a belt two hours ago! That man is a crack pot. " Cedric glared, his kind face etched with anger and sorrow as he followed the 

mute boy who lived to the kitchen. 

" bye. " he muttered to the sitting family around the table without sparing them a glance, he turned and marched right past the order members, and to the door, 

Cedric walking the distance shoulder with shoulder with the lanky woman. 

" all set? " 

" yes sir. " 

Harry gulped down his panic, only then realizing that no one else saw Cedric as he did, what was happening to him?! He thought through the pain. He looked at 

Cedric before ushering his eyes away. No need to drag attention now. He was about to see Ron and Hermione. They knew what to do, they just had to.

" then grab my hand dear boy. " Albus stretched out his wrinkled hand, Harry eyed the hand before extending his arm and taking it, yelping as his world dissolved 

around him. 

XXXXXXXXXXX

 

" for the last time Granger, Weasley. How did you know? " the voice cut through their self esteem like a whip, and the two had hold on to their trio oath, to not to slip 

anything. 

" Granger! " Snape barked, slamming his hands on the kitchen table, Hermione jumped. She could've looked past Snape and to the other order members who were 

gaping at them for help, but the situation was way past that. 

" sir. " she squeaked, her clammy palm finding Ron's cold hand under the table. 

" tell me Now! " he yelled and Hermione couldn't help but flinch. In all of her life this was positively the first time that she was being berated by an adult. And it 

didn't feel good at all. 

" what do you want to hear sir? I can tell you the main ingredients of the draught of living dead we would be learning in... "

" Don't play games with me Granger! We can sit here all night until one of you finally slips something! " Molly frowned in the background but didn't say anything.   
" but sir... What about dinner? " Ron asked cheekily, arching a Snape like eyebrow at his teacher. 

Snape closed his eyes, breathing in a out and counting in his head. Knowing full well that he couldn't insult the cheeky brats with the whole order seating there as 

witnesses. And there was no points to dedicate. Stupid Gryffindors. 

" Weasley, detention, as soon as we get back to the school, right at the feast without you having your dinner, And you Granger, you better speak before joining your 

friend. " he drawled, narrowing his eyes as he caught Weasley nodding his head slightly at Granger. 

" Sir, don't you think Harry is more important now? " she asked in the best curious student voice she could muster. 

" if I didn't know better , I would say you little dunderheads were all slytherins. But you're not, and you're bound to make a mistake somewhere. So talk now 

Granger. "

Sirius and Remus tried to quiet down their laughter by coughing. As worried as they were about Harry, they couldn't help but laugh at the two sitting there being 

Interrogated by their sour professor, just like they once were, with Sirius just as cheeky and Remus just as clever. 

" I'm tired of this ridiculous game! Give them veritaserum Severus. " Moody grunted, slamming his cane on the ground harshly. 

" Absolutely not! " Molly cried out, several order members also protested with Sirius and Remus in the front.

" No, Alastor. I don't think Veritaserum is needed. " Kingsley said, hushing the complaining cries. 

Moody grunted, muttering under his lips incoherently. 

" how do we know they're not under Polyjuice potion?" Bones asked, aiming her wand at the teenagers. 

" oh for the love of.... "

" damn. " 

Ron rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. " go on. Ask me a question, only /Ronald/ would know. " 

Members shifted as Remus stepped forward with narrowed eyes. " Harry's favorite color? " 

" now there Remus, that's too obvious! " several others joined the chaotic protests standing out of their seats. Remus held his hand up. 

Ron smirked. " he says red, but that's a cover up since he's ashamed to admit that he secretly loves emerald green. Lily Potter's eyes. " he said smoothly, his tone never 

wavering. Sirius shifted behind Remus, uncomfortable with the information. 

Remus smiled. " Hermione? " she grinned widely as she stood, giving an uncharacteristically cocky smirk to Snape. 

" sir yes sir. Me, Harry and the time Turner,oh! and a hippogriff sir. " she didn't sit back down, instead she looked at Sirius with pleading eyes. 

" you have to go to him. Trust us when we say he's in danger. " she gulped as she felt mad eye moody inspect her with his magical eyeball and the other oder members 

watching skeptically. 

" But Hermione how did you know? " Arthur asked, stepping forward, almost shoulder to shoulder with Snape. 

" we can't tell you. " Ron replied for her firmly, standing as well. 

Severus couldn't take it anymore. " insolence! Utter arrogance, you two! Idiotic Gryffindors, thinking yourself above the rules! Just like your fath.... " Snape trailed 

off, speechless. 

" Harry is not here Snape. " Remus growled quietly, both marauders eyeing the man in black in disdain. 

" I never said he was wolf! " Snape snapped back.

" how can you just stand there arguing, when Harry is out there?! " Hermione asked in panic and disbelief. 

" don't worry about that dear, we already sent a rescue group. Harry's going to be here anytime now. " Molly reassured the distressed teen. Never in her life she   
would've thought that Hermione Granger of all people would stand up to adults. But here she was, scolding them in a firm bossy tone.

" Granger, for your own good and Potter's you'd better tell us how did you know? " Snape asked slowly, barely containing his anger. 

" why does that mean so much to everybody?! " Ron exploded, dumbfounded at their insistence on the matter. 

" why? Why? I tell you why Weasley," the potion master sneered, looming above the children. 

" just imagine our shock when we realize two / teenagers /, two / Gryffindor / teenagers gaining top secret information, information that they had no way of 

knowing, before we even got a gust of what was happening. " 

"You two knew Potter was in danger, even before our guard knew what was going on in the first place. Now what we want to know is that how two fifteen year old 

kids with average and only average level of magical abilities... " Snape paused momentary, looking back at Moody. 

" who haven't even passed their OWL s yet, have compromised one of the most classified and private cases with the whole order swarming in the house, right under 

our noses! " Snape was panting in the end, he was one of the elite members, the one with all the information and security policies, and these, * these * children have 

compromised their security like it was a house of Cards. 

" Sir..." Hermione begun, wetting her lips nervously. 

" Mione. " Ron said, a hint of warning in his voice. 

" Harry! " she growled back, glaring at her friend, Ron looked back, the group watching the two with fascination as it seemed they were having a nonverbal 

conversation. 

Ron finally nodded, his figure slightly pouting. Hermione sighed, as she sat back down, her expression resigned and suddenly tired. 

" it was third year. In... Uh.... Harry kind of had an accident that summer, and he kept sneaking around when we got back to school, even though a convicted mass 

murderer was after his blood." she shrugged apologetically at Sirius. 

" Ron and I couldn't keep track of him.... So we sort of,... " she trailed off, looking throughly embarrassed. 

Ron cleared his throat. " we found a charm in the library, the restricted section. We figured if Black found him, we could at least be alerted, we uh... This summer, we 

sort of sneaked out a letter to Harry... " he cringed, expecting cries of shock and surprise, but none came, he opened his blue eyes slowly, and gulped. 

" it's called auxilium tribue, third year I charmed Harry's glasses, and mione charmed the letter a few days ago. " 

" what does this spell do exactly? " Tonks asked, her pink her changing into long wavy black hair. 

Hermione rubbed her hands. " well, basically it's an alarming spell, if the victim is in danger, any kind of danger, the spell will activate and, alarm the caster. " 

" used for? " Snape demanded, tapping his foot on the ground impatiently. 

" murderers who didn't want they're hands getting dirty or mainly used poison. It would determine if the victim...is dead or severely injured. "   
She cringed under the disappointed stares, clasping Ron hand's in hers before sitting down. 

" so you two dunderheads decided to put a dark spell on Potter, without knowing the side effects, without knowing the consequences, trusting a book in the 

restricted section without a slip and then use it on a fourteen year old child?! What the hell where you thinking?!! " Snape was furious, he couldn't believe the nerve 

of those idiots! 

" RONALD WEASLEY! HERMIONE GRANGER! Grounded! " Molly shrieked, stomping her way to the table. 

" what were you two thinking? " Remus growled, with Sirius frowning by his side. 

" we were! We studied the spell for two months before attempting on a living thing, and then, and only then we dared to put in on Harry! " Ron yelled through the 

mayhem. 

Snape sneered. " and that is supposed to make us feel better Weasley? " 

Whatever Ronald ws about to saunas cut off by a loud gut wrenching shriek.

" YOU BLOOD TRAITORS! YOU FILTHY MUDBLOOD LOVERS! SETTING YOUR FIFLTHY FOOT IN MY HOUSE! THE BANE OF MY EXISTNESS, 

UTTER FILTH! "

" Harry! " Hermione and Ron called out simultaneously, both rushing past the order members and out of the kitchen. 

Harry was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEED A BETA.   
> PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW ;) 
> 
> find me on
> 
> potionsandsnitches; http://www.potionsandsnitches.org/fanfiction/viewuser.php?uid=7210
> 
> ff.net; www.fanfiction.net/u/7220296/aixxx


	7. chapter seven; every time you falter (1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this work is in progress and being rewritten, that's partly the reason why I hadn't updated in so long. thank you ALL for your wonderful comments and kudos ;) 
> 
> this was my first fic, I started writing two years ago, and my writing have progressed greatly since then, at least I hope so ;)
> 
> we have three options here; either I postpone this fic until it is completed (mostly combed through for mistakes, typos, structure and whatnot, as the plot will remain the same) and then start uploading it again, or I continue uploading chapters for your benefit (I have 17 prewritten chapters in need of a rewrite) and replace them with the rewritten chapters later...or I could upload the rewritten version (I've only written four beta'ed chapters up until now) and then we'll proceed as we normally would like other fics. 
> 
> I let you guys decide, but I prefer the third option, less trouble for all of us, let me know in the comments anyways ;)
> 
> ps. why didn't anyone tell me about the abysmal state of the format?! it's completely messed up, i'll go through them tonight, re-uploading the chapters to fix it so they should be fine by tomorrow morning. 
> 
> thank you all for your kind feedback, I will treasure each and every one of them ;)

Chapter seven ; Every time you falter 

 

/Every time you falter  
Every time you fall  
I can still see the road ahead  
You'll be brighter than the stars/   
_unstoppable 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry had drew his knees tightly to his chest, his damp hair stuck to his head as he laid his cheek on the foamed knee. The water rippling with each occasional tremble, Harry's eyes bore firmly into Cedric Diggory who had seated himself in a chair just across the tub. 

Harry had been doing that for quite some time now, well, at least enough to make the water run cold, and he had yet to even wash his hair, the scrawny boy just sat in the tub, with dozens of unopened jars and vials on the toilet table and a white fluffy towel draped lazily on the door's handle by Mrs. Weasley. Looking lost and fragile and just so small in his curled up state. He hated it. 

The foams burned his half healed welts and agitated his recent ones, but Harry felt numb. Just like an empty shell. He was already forgetting his rescue attempt at the Dursleys. Already forgetting the woman's name, but...But even if he forgot everything right at that moment, he couldn't forget one single fact. No one had seen Cedric. Cedric was *invisible* to the others. Everyone but him, even as he arrived at Grimmauld place. 

He knew that he should at least wince as the open wound on his cheek laid completely on soap, but he didn't even feel the pain. He just stared at Cedric. Green emerald eyes staring intensely into his boyfriend's grey stormy ones. Harry drew in another sharp breath, the water rippling upon the contact. 

He's just so real. He thought fleetingly, raging inwardly, his face remaining the same blank sullen expression. He reached out a hand hesitantly , his palm slippery and soft with soap dripping down in droplets. 

Cedric did not break eye contact. He didn't even blink. Instead the hufflepuff boy extended his arm and took Harry's freezing slippery hand in his own. 

Harry shivered again, the water slouching out of the tub as it was filled to the very brim. 

So warm. So solid and real. So real. Harry was hyperventilating. This was a nightmare, worse than a nightmare, it was a nightmare etched in his very reality. How he could've been so ignorant? So naive? It had been there all summer long. Everything, Cedric, his sweet boyfriend Cedric, who didn't even know about the Dursleys had lived with him, co habituated with him in tiny room for the whole summer. He did not eat, he was always awake, and the Dursleys never even suspected anything.

How dumb, and how weak. He sneered, Cedric's warm thumb rubbing slow circles on his hand. Harry took another shuddering breath at the touch. This was Cedric. Cedric was here. But then what were Ron and Hermione talking about just downstairs? Why did several order members who didn't even know him, prayed for Cedric's poor soul and offered their condolences to Harry? 

They were missing. His memories. But Cedric was dead. Gone. But then Cedric was right here massaging his hand, as he stared at him lovingly. 

" you're Cedric. " his voice was barely above a whisper, but Cedric seemed to have heard him. 

" I am. " he whispered back. Scooting the chair closer to the tub. Harry closed his eyes, hot traitorous tears burning in the back of his eyelids. 

" but they say you're dead. " he chocked out, squeezing Cedric's hand just to reassure himself. He was here. He reasoned with himself. A dead person did not feel this warm or solid, a hallucination did not feel so *real*. 

" I am. " the husky familiar voice whispered again, and Harry almost felt himself giving away, just wanting to drown and see what happens next. Cedric squeezed his hand in response. Hard. 

" they can't see you can they? " he felt like a child asking those questions, he couldn't believe that he couldn't extinguish his dream from a reality. If Cedric wasn't real, then what was? 

" no. " Harry felt his blood running cold. They couldn't see Cedric. No one seemed to see him, except Harry. Just Harry. 

" I...I don't.... Remember... " Harry struggled to get the words out of his mouth, to gather his thoughts together, to rebuild his broken chain of common sense. 

" you...you were alive. " he shuddered again, the hot hand massaging his wrist and forearm expertly. 

Cedric said nothing but scooted once again closer, so close in fact that he was basically sitting right next to Harry. His fingers caressing the red angry welts painted on Harry's arm. Harry shuddered again, the water slipping out of the tub like a waterfall. 

" that bastard. " Cedric growled quietly, brushing the soap away from Harry's agitated forearm. 

" look at me. " Harry pleaded, barely believing the boy touching him. His whole frame was shaking, unable to find out if he was a hallucination or reality. 

Cedric looked up. " they said you're dead. " 

The grey eyed teenager blinked. " and I said, I am. " Harry took his arm out of Cedric's grasp, recoiling as if burned. 

" you're not real? " 

" I can be. " he responded slowly, reaching in stroke Harry's face, the unmarked part. 

" don't. " Harry gasped, scrambling away in the tub, the water cascading down on the tiled floor with a loud splash. 

Cedric sat back down, and settled on staring at him again. So uncannily, so creepy, and so damn real. 

I can be. 

The phrase struck him hard, it was cryptic. Harry hated cryptic. What did he meant? Harry grabbed his hair, looking back at Cedric. Oh merlin, what should he do?! Should he tell someone? Maybe Ron or Hermione? No, this one needed an adult. Sirius? Remus? The thought itself made him shudder in shame.

" you can't tell them. " Cedric said softly, his eyes glittering in pity. Harry ignored him.

" I... Don't remember. " Harry had to make Cedric understand, he had tell him that he did not remember him dying, or anything from last year. He just had to.

" it's ok. " Cedric's wavy brown locks shook as he tried to sooth him.

" it's not! " Harry moved farther away. " I...I... I don't remember... You dying... And... T..th...they think you're dead. " but you're here with me, touching me, touching me, caressing me, He closed his eyes.

He had slept with Cedric for two months, he had laid his head on his chest, he had kissed and teased Cedric for two months, he had carried out a conversation that just seemed to go on for hours, mindless flirting all night long. And Cedric wasn't even there. 

The thought was too disturbing for him to even consider, the thought of cutting out Cedric out of all those memories, replacing him with vacant air... Harry hiccuped, shivering with the cold this time. 

" it's ok, there's nothing to remember anyway. " 

" y...y...you're dead. " it wasn't a statement exactly. Harry was expecting an answer, he felt like his world was collapsing all around him, all he could catch was snippets, moments here and there as the memories slipped out of his hands like soap. 

He remembered Cedric giving him the golden necklace, funny Harry never got him anything in return, or had he? He didn't know, his mind was blank. Empty. 

" it's okay, I'm here now. " Cedric said, his hand stroking Harry's head with gentle warm fingers. Harry closed his eyes. This was real, he decided, this is real. Cedric could be alive, he just had to be. 

" I'm telling them. " he said, his voice trembling. 

" you can't. No one can know Harry, not Ron, not Hermione. No one. " Cedric said in a frantic voice, his eyes wide and his fingers clenching around Harry's hair. 

" why? I...this...is wrong. I'm seeing things! I should tell them! " 

" I thought that too, but they can't. Harry the only thing they do is to lock you up in an asylum. In the St. Mango's ward where you'd be forgotten eventually,where no one can help you. You'll fade away. " 

Harry shook his head weakly, he gripped at the slippery edges, pulling himself up, his hands shaking . 

" I'm here now, nothing is different. I'm the same Cedric as I've always been. The same you woke up everyday to, it's me. " Harry slipped down with a small cry, burying his face in his knees. 

" Harry?! Are you alright in there?! " Sirius's voice came from the door, and Harry straightened up, wiping his tears away, as Cedric looked at him with a pleading expression. Harry sighed, gathering his wits.

" I..I'm fine. Just a little tired Sirius. " he prayed to merlin, that Sirius didn't come in. 

" you've been there for at least two hours now, are you sure pup? I can come in to help you. " Sirius said carefully, pondering if he should open the door or not. Harry was in a really bad shape when he arrived. He was already guilty for not checking up on him in the summer , he wasn't taking any chances, any time soon. 

" I'm fine. Honest. I'm just not feeling so good. " it was the truth anyway, aside from the dizziness, the cramps were coming back in full force, enough to make him wince. 

" I'm coming in. " was his only warning before barging through the door, wincing guiltily as he saw Harry jump. Not even noticing how much of a mess the bathroom was. 

" Sorry. " he grinned sheepishly, the smile sliding as he saw the tub nearly empty and the floor all sloppy with foam. What the hell? He wondered, careful not to slip as he walked closer to the tub.

His eyes darted to the toilet table, taking in the unopened jars. The balms that Snape specifically insisted that Harry put on / before / taking a bath. 

The man turned his head around gaping at Harry. 

" did you bath with the wounds untreated?! " Harry shrugged guiltily, not able to admit that he hasn't even wash his hair yet, his eyes were set on an empty chair close to the tub. Trembling.

Sirius picked up a balm and headed to the tub, trying not to wince or look angry as he saw the belt marks on Harry's malnourished figure. Freezing figure. 

Sirius frowned, sticking his hand in the tub to test the water, it couldn't be that cold, he thought. 

Sirius recoiled. The water / was / cold, really cold, as if Harry had seen in the tub for a whole two hours without moving a muscle. 

" pup? What the hell? This water is freezing! " he quickly retrieved his wand, the thought of just opening the tap not reaching his mind as he waved his wand over the tub and took the empty seat near Harry. 

Harry did not respond, his eyes darting, somewhere behind Sirius and near the door, Sirius turned to follow his eyes, fingers clenching around the jar as he found nothing. 

" Harry? " 

" I'm fine, just a bug. " Harry shrugged, his muscles relaxing considerably in the lukewarm water. Sirius had banished all the soap, knowing full well that they sting as hell when being rubbed on open wounds like that. The water was a rippling clear substance, not clear enough for Harry to see his other half clearly, but clear enough for him to make out the red angry marks under the liquid. 

" what were you thinking prongslet? Remus would kill me if he knew you've been here for two whole hours shivering. " in soap. He finished in his mind, screwing the jar open, he took out a decent amount and grabbed Harry's arm. 

Harry flinched, but did not pull away. " sorry. " he mumbled. Sirius had a feeling that the apologize was not about the bath, his eyes were distant, not even flinching as Sirius worked his way up to his shoulder blades. 

Sirius cursed under his breath, now he understood why Molly fussed over Harry's eating habits so much. The boy was skin and bones. Even he wasn't this thin when he was on the run, every bone was poking out sharply and the skin looked stretched over, and painfully so. 

" I should've known. " Sirius admitted guiltily, why hadn't he? He was a victim of abuse himself, he should've seen this. 

Harry shook his head firmly under his hold. 

" No, you couldn't have. / I / didn't want anyone to know. " Harry insisted, Sirius frowned, rubbing his fingers with a little more force than necessary. 

" why not?!! " he growled, Harry's muscles clenched again as he stared off into the wall. He bit his lips in pain. Harry finally snapped at the man bitterly.

" you are an escaped convict, Remus is a werewolf who can't have custody and the weasleys are already full as it is. And the blood wards.... I had to say there. " because I was freaky, dangerous, I killed my parents and then Cedric. My Cedric. Harry finished, closing his eyes as a tear escaped through Cedric's stricken face. 

' that's not true. You know it. ' he said, glaring at him in rage. 

Harry looked away, blushing now that he felt Sirius's hands on his back, he hadn't even stopped gawking at Cedric enough to consider the thought that his / godfather / was helping him bath. He a fifteen year old, fully capable of bathing himself. How embarrassing. He thought ashamedly.

" Sirius. You don't have to.... " 

" I don't have to what? " Sirius gritted out not really listening , already planning out the Dursleys death. A painful and long suffering one. He grumbled inwardly, James would be rolling in his grave, cursing off Sirius for not getting his son sooner. 

Harry flushed. 

" help me bath. I can do it myself. " he squirmed under the firm hold. 

" if you wanted to, you could've done so in the past two hours pup. " Harry sighed in frustration but gave in. Sirius was like a leech, he thought savagely. Once he had glued himself to something he would never let go. 

' now that's just harsh. ' Cedric commented, reading through jar's labels. Harry grunted in response, nearly wanting to snap back. 

" I'm sorry. " Sirius apologized, misunderstanding Harry's grunt for pain. Harry shrugged it off. 

" I'm fine. " he reassured the uncomfortable man, closing his eyes and resigning himself to an embarrassing and unavoidable bath with his godfather. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

/ " can you just imagine the glory? " Ron whistled, flipping through his homework under Hermione's watchful eyes. Harry rolled his eyes as Hermione watched them suspiciously. 

" we stay out of this one guys. " she said firmly and checked over her own homework. 

" oh come on 'Mione. Nearly everyone are giving it s try! Even the twins! " Ron pouted, glaring at Hermione. 

Harry cut her off " yeah, but we're underage, *and * I don't think we can handle the stress this year. We had enough adrenaline for a life time. " 

Hermione shook her head. " we couldn't even if we wanted to, there's an age line. " she pointed at the Blue wisp of line around the goblet of fire. 

Ron chewed on his apple thoughtfully. " what about an age potion? Fred and George are trying that one. " 

" that's just dumb "

Speaking of the devil, the twins propped down on either side of Hermione, their hands falling lazily around her shoulders. They grinned devilishly, having heard the earlier conversation. 

" dumb? " 

" did I hear that right.... "

" girlfriend mine? " Fred feigned hurt, clutching at his heart. 

Harry smiled, the twins knew just how much Hermione hated being teased. 

" first of all, /not/ your girlfriend Fred, and second, yes, dumb. Do you see the age line? " she pointed at the line. The twins nodded, acting like eager students. 

" Dumbledore had drawn that line, meaning Voldemort himself couldn't reach the goblet with something as simple and as trival as an age potion. " she said, gazing at the twins with a victorious grin. 

George blew a sigh, before shaking his head in disappointment. 

" that's just it my beloved, it's so trival that not even...."

" a Dumbledore drawn line would expect it." Fred finished, winking at the boys before jumping off the seats and taking off with Jordan. 

Hermione shook her head, clicking her tongue ad Ron and Harry snickered.

" crazy, the lot of you. " she mumbled, looking at the goblet with a sullen expression.

" you guys, you need to promise not to enter your name, this games had death tolls. " she said gravely, looking at the boys in the eyes.

" trio's oath mione. Besides, who would want to compete in life threatening situations just for someone else's sick fascination. That doesn't make any sense. " 

" that's called entertainment mate. "

Harry waved him off. " whatever. " he turned to his bag, dumping it on his knees, he quietly went through it looking for a folded note he knew would be there. 

It was there every morning. Not missing a single beat. 

Ron and Hermione looked away with a knowing smile, engaged in a heated discussion over Hermione's disfigured pet crookshunks scratching Ron's best set of trousers. 

Harry fingered the folded parchment, smiling brightly, he pulled it out under the table, the bag on his knees, blocking everyone's views. He looked at his sides, making sure no one was paying attention. 

With a sense of righteous anticipation, Harry unfolded the paper, his eyes dazed and his lips clamped together to prevent the ridiculous smile from spreading, reading the love note. 

Thinking about you all night, couldn't get your scent out of my head. I think I need a cuddle with you right about now, my heart wants what it wants. But logic keeps denying it away. 

_ flatterer 

Harry flushed, rereading the note before folding it hastily, excitement bubbled in his heart, the thought of Cedric thinking about him like that hadn't still settled in his jumbled mind. 

" was it your le petit ami? " Ron teased, snickering before he was hit by both Harry and Mione. 

" shut up you buffoon! You never know who turns out to be French! " Harry hissed, pinching Ron under the table. 

Hermione smiled knowingly, before glaring at Ron. " he wouldn't know, he has an emotional range of a tea spoon after all. " 

" Hey! " Ron cried out indignantly, before bursting into a hysterical fit of laughter, the other two joining seconds later. 

 

Harry skipped up the stairs, the fluttery feeling still in his chest, why did it feel so good? Hermione and Ron complimented him, Sirius and Remus, even Mrs. Weasley had complimented him, how was this any different? 

Harry had kept every single note that Cedric left him each morning, they usually came with a treat, yesterday it was a fairy cake with a note attached to it by a string, and the day before that it was sugar quills with the note tucked tightly around the red quill with another note. 

They made Harry feel like mush. Specially when he read them in public, where he knew Cedric would see him. He always did. Harry smiled stupidly, he just couldn't wipe the ridiculous smile off his face as he thought about today's note over and over. 

He dropped on his bed, drawing the curtains tightly before lightening up his wand and pulling out a thick envelope out of his pillowcase. 

He dived in his bag, the note was folded neatly exactly where Harry had dropped it, Harry emptied his bag on the bed, there wasn't a treat attached to the note today, and although Harry was still angry with Cedric, he wasn't angry enough to decline his note. Or the treat. 

Broken quills and empty inkwells, shredded parchment and his books all landed haphazardly on his bed in a heap. Hermione would be so ashamed, Harry thought, going through the heap to find.... Something. 

There laid under his transfiguration book a round golden wrapping with a note attached to it with a string. Harry took it, rolling it between his fingers. It was a chocolate, as usual, Cedric knew that Harry had a sweet tooth and used that against him mercilessly.

Harry hummed, it seemed like a coin of some sort, but nothing magical. A coin chocolate. Harry had tested every magical chocolate there was and this wasn't like it. Maybe it was Muggle ? 

Harry shrugged, not really caring. He grabbed the note with his wand hovering to illuminate the paper. 

I'm so sorry about last night and not telling you the truth penguin. Forgive me?! 

Harry smiled, shaking his head fondly at the nickname. Cedric had nicknamed him penguin when he found out that Harry couldn't pronounce the name correctly, it made Harry all jittery, he couldn't decide between wanting to be mad at Cedric or to sneak to the hufflepuff dormitory to kiss the boy senseless. His bed certainly looked comfortable enough for two people. Harry nibbled at his lip, not able to contain the sudden fit of giggle coming out of his mouth. He covered his mouth with both hands, horrified. Did he just giggle? 

He opened the envelope with his remaining dignity, pulling out the smaller notes lovingly. First he wanted to put them in his photo album, with a few pictures of Cedric himself, but then decided against it, he was leaving with four other boys, there was no such a thing as privacy. 

And Cedric's notes weren't exactly appropriate anyways, even Neville would figure it out if he caught a glimpse of them, and Harry couldn't have that, with Cedric's own dad being a homophobic and the wizarding world kind of judgmental on Harry's private life, he couldn't just ruin Cedric's future like that. Although the notes weren't something that noticeable, Harry shuffled through them, his eyes scanning the stack of parchment. 

I like your hairstyles today, you look raved.   
_flatterer 

Is that my bite that I see on your neck Potter?   
_ flatterer 

Just ate a big bowl of chocolate ice cream, reminded me of you penguin.   
_flatterer 

Miss you so much, Quidditch practice at five am tomorrow. Meet me in the lockers room.   
_ flatterer 

Harry blushed at the last one, quickly stuffing it among the other cards before he could blush any brighter. Harry placed Cedric's apologizing notes on the top and unwrapped the chocolate coin, favoring the sweet taste melting on his tongue. 

Cedric just knew him too well. He thought fondly before hopping off his bed. He had to sneak in tonight, in Cedric's bedroom, he might not be able to convince the boy to sleep with him, but the apologize note and the Chocolate made his heart flutter, wanting to embrace and thank Cedric right away, showing his gratitude with flutter kisses all over.... 

Harry shook his head, he'd better head to lunch before his musings went any farther. /

XXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Harry sighed, pulling out his unshrunk box out of his trunk before dropping on his bed. 

He was more level head now ; after an embarrassing bath session with Sirius and nearly passing out twice in the past hour, Harry was drained out. He had cried and cried and cried for two hours straight, knowing full well that everyone was sleeping since it was three in the morning, and with the silencing charm, no one would check up on his except Ron. Who was knocked out himself. Leaving him with a cramping stomach, killing headache and puffy eyes. While he did not feel better all.

He was on the verge of breaking down, blubbering and hyperventilating under his blanket hiding from Cedric, but the boy wasn't there at all. It seemed like Cedric had disappeared about the time Harry had finished crying, but Harry knew he would be back. He always did. 

Here he was now, nearly five am sitting on his bed in pitch dark, wondering if he should go and wake Sirius and tell him everything. But he couldn't, no. Harry breathed deeply, opening the box hesitantly. He immediately grabbed his snow glob, the tiny little glob shinning eerily in the dark, snow flakes raging in the protective dome. This was from last year. Harry did remember that much. 

But when exactly? He couldn't tell, everything was so hazy and jumbled in his mind, all he caught was Cedric giving him the necklace, He and Cedric snogging in empty classes and finally Cedric hiding love notes in his bags and clothes. It was tragic really. That the only thing he remembered of his cherished boyfriend was some flirty letters, a glob and a golden necklace, and of course himself, following Harry everywhere like some sort of ghost, but he wasn't. 

The others * couldn't * see Cedric. Ghosts could be seen, but Cedric wasn't a ghost. He wasn't even real, he was just a fragment of his own imagination. Something that Harry had a hard time believing. 

It made him sound crazy, or mentally disturbed, while Harry knew he wasn't. He had never hallucinated, he had never heard or seen things that the others couldn't. He was just Harry. 

He really needed to tell someone. He decided, fingerings his necklace anxiously. 

But on the other hand Cedric was right ; there was nothing they could do, he would be locked up in St. Mango's Psych ward with Voldemort lurking out there, plotting his revenge on the wizard get world. 

No one would be able to help him. Because there was nothing /wrong/ with him. He thought to himself, the denial flaring in his mind as he tried to ignore the logic facts in the problem. Once again. 

Harry put the letters and the glob away, rubbing his eyes with his palms, he didn't even jump as he felt familiar hands rubbing his back. 

" you're back? " he asked, craning his neck to see Cedric in the dark, wearing Harry's favorite blue shirt. 

Cedric didn't respond, but worked on Harry's knotted shoulder expertly, making the shorter boy moan in relief as he put the box away. 

" are you ok now? " The husky breath asked, hitting Harry in the face. Hard. 

" I'm not sure. You're supposed to be dead. "

" who cares, I'm here now aren't I? " 

" I can't tell anyone? " the statement wasn't as firm as he wanted since he was basically melting under Cedric's magical touch. 

" No, you need to defeat him. You can't do that, locked up in a psych ward. " 

Harry laid down, dragging Cedric with him, he laid his head on the soft cotton shirt, savoring the solid chest as he wiggled his toes. He knew that now he knew the truth he shouldn't do this, the thought itself was disturbing, but Harry didn't think about that, he even forgot the thought of Cedric actually dying in the back of his mind, not important enough to pay attention to. 

Just for tonight, he thought. I sleep with him just for tonight, and then everything will be better tomorrow. 

" goodnight. "

" goodnight penguin. " Harry thought he felt a tear stream down his face upon hearing Cedric.

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE REVIEW ;)   
> LIKE MY OTHER WORK I WILL UPDATE TWICE A WEEK DEPENDING ON THE FEEDBACK AND MY OWN SCHEDULE.


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